to know you is to love you

I have been pleasantly surprised to hear my grandchildren refer to Grandpa Chandler as if they know him.  They know his name, who he was, who Grandma Chandler is, and facts about them both.  I assume that, regarding Julia's kids, it is because they lived with us and have had exposure to my Mom, pictures, and our memories, which Avonlea is getting now.

Same thing could be true of Hillary's kids from visits, etc.  But I realized on my trip that it is also true of Hillary's kids because she is so into genealogy. We did one afternoon in Salt Lake City and Hillary wanted to show me the family history library.  I have always gone to the Church History Museum, which is across the way, but never the family history library.



 We went in and her girls went right up to the counter and asked for an iPad.  They knew how to sign in and then took the IPads to different sections in the museum.  They pushed their IPads into certain areas on the wall and all of a sudden a world of family history opened up on the big screens.  They had at least a dozen ancestors to choose from - from mine and Reggie's family, which shows how much work Hillary has done to access and organize that for them.  They kept choosing Grandpa Chandler.  His timeline was on there and it showed what was happening in the world when he was born, when he was 5, 10, 50, etc. etc.  It had dozens of pictures up about his life.  I've seen most of these in our family albums, but to see them on the big screen was just amazing.  There was a lot of other interactive things for them to do.

Can you believe that Penicillin was not discovered until he was 9 years old? 

The above and below pictures are not of our family but of random, real people displayed throughout the library.  It does
make it all so close to home.

To quote the movie "Coco" (again), "These aren't just old pictures, they're our family and they're counting on us to remember them".

It was wonderful!

Island Park

One of my Mom's favorite things about her childhood was going to her family's cabin in Island Park, Idaho, for weeks at a time.  I remember her talking about it a lot. I think she wished our family would go and have a vacation like that - days spent on the lake - wading, canoeing, hiking, standing on the bridge feeding the giant, leaping trout. etc.  But as far as I can remember we never did.

So, as I was planning my trip to Idaho for Hillary's graduation I decided I needed to go to Island Park.  I wanted so much to get there and call my Mom and say "guess where I am!".  I wanted her to know that I was listening all those times she talked about it.  I wanted her to know that I care about her memories/her history.  So that's what I did, and thats how it went - but even better than I had imagined.

By this time the Dobbins, Samantha and I were staying with Rocio and family.  Hillary's graduation wasn't until 8 pm so we took a day trip to Island Park and got back just in time.  Rocio and her youngest 2 rode with Samantha and I (J.T had to work and the oldest 3 were on a trip with their Dad).  Rocio and family had just been to Island Park and so she directed us to their favorite part, about an hour from Idaho Falls.  When we got there I called my Mom and she was as surprised and pleased as I had expected.  We started comparing where we were with her memories and, I kid you not, we were in the same exact spot where she used to vacation as a child.  We were in the "Big Springs" part of the park, on the bridge feeding the jumping trout.  We didn't do any water activities but we took a beautiful walk around the area.

I am SO happy to have done that.  I am SO happy that things worked out for Rocio and little ones to come with us.  It was a beautiful day at a beautiful place.

A Legacy of Faith

“We must be sure that the legacy of faith received from [the pioneers] is never lost. Let their heroic lives touch our hearts, and especially the hearts of our youth, so the fire of true testimony and unwavering love for the Lord and His Church will blaze brightly within each one of us as it did in our faithful pioneers.”

Pioneer Day, celebrated in Idaho and Utah, was special for me this year because we spent it road-tripping back from Idaho.  We of course visited my Dad; he resides in "Pioneer Cemetery" in Rigby Idaho, along with some of his immediate family.  We love him so much. 

 Then, that night, we enjoyed seeing the fireworks go off all over town.  No matter how tired the kids are, and how big a day it was, Pioneer Day is no time for falling asleep early: fireworks are just too fascinating!

Sharing my "vast" knowledge

The other night, as I was helping my Mom with some stuff around the house, she said to me "you're so smart!"  That really means a lot to me because I do not feel smart at all - especially compared to her.  My Mom has always been the smartest and most organized woman I know.  In fact, in a little self-deprecating humor, I told her the other night what I had going on the next day.  I had to go to Redwood City to get a certified copy of my marriage certificate because I could not find the original.  I told her that I have gone to the county clerk so many times that they must recognize me and say "oh, it's her again"; I've lost all of my kids certified birth certificates at least once, sometimes more, and have had to go get new ones.  I am lucky that I have a Mom that laughs along with me instead of being ashamed of me.  I think she knows I'm trying to do better.

But, I am happy to say that I know how to help her when it comes to accessing her favorite movies and music on the tv and internet - and it has resulted in me getting to know her even more.  For example, she told me recently that she has always loved Johnny Mathis music.  I never knew that, or the reason why.  She said that when she was marrying my dad, at age 18, she had a few people - especially one aunt in particular - that told her she was way to young and that it would never work.  To this day she still thinks of and loves the Johnny Mathis song called "Too Young", which starts out "they try to tell us we're too young".  She said she wished she knew how to find a copy of it.  So, I showed her how to access it on youtube, and I helped her make a playlist of Johnny Mathis' other songs.

So, maybe I've got some smarts in me - I'm no Ruth mind you - but I'm trying.

no summer school for me

After many years of doing summer school I am taking the summer off.  I feel such an urgency to spend time with my Mom and help her get her affairs in order.  She is doing great, but I know it weighs on her mind when things are not as organized as she wants them to be.

There are also last minute, finishing up things I need to do for Luke's childhood, before his "adulting" starts this fall.  For example, we opted for him to not drive yet because we did not want to pay for expensive teen-age auto insurance.  But it's time (heaven help me!).  Teaching our kids how to drive is my #1 least favorite part of parenting.  But it's time!

And, last of all, I happened upon an 80% off sale in Michael's scrapbooking department!  Scrapbooking is going to be my summer-fun activity after every productive day, I hope.  So here is to the beginnings of a great summer!

more details - a mother's day post

Last December I blogged about staying with my Mom when she was sick.  Here are a few more details I feel ready to share:  My Mom called one day and said she wasn't feeling well.  We decided that I should spend the night with her.  In the middle of the night I woke to the sound of her calling me.  I ran into her room and found her on the bathroom floor.  She had fallen, was really sick now, and was bleeding from where she hit her elbow.  I sat with her for a couple of minutes and then convinced her that we should call 911.  She agreed and so I did.  I hurried and unlocked the door so they could get in and then went back to her.  I held her head in my lap and comforted her while we waited.  All the while a gospel song by Whitney Houston and choir kept going through my mind, especially the chorus which says "hold on, help is on the way".

It was a tender, sad, hard and sweet moment between my Mom and I.  She got a good work up in the hospital, was diagnosed with a virus and my siblings and I took turns taking care of her.  She was back to her old self by mid-January.

This is a couple of years old but I can't help but post it here

My Mom just celebrated her 89th birthday and my Dad's 100th anniversary of his birth happened 4 days earlier.  I remember that when he was in the hospital for the last time the doctor offered to get him into a rehabilitation home since a week earlier he had lost his ability to walk.  He said no, he had already had a "good life" and was "ready to go home and wrap things up".  AND, most of all, he predicted my Mom was going to have many years to come and he wanted to make sure there was enough money left for her to live comfortably.  He wanted to make sure that she be taken good care of in every way.

Years earlier, when my Dad was needing more and more care my Mom was it - she did it all.  One afternoon we were standing in her kitchen and I got teary-eyed and told her that I would be her "Ruth".  I explained that when she started needing more help I would try to take as good a care of her as she was taking care of my Dad.

I don't think I could ever be as good a "Ruth" as she was to my Dad, but I'm trying:  because I love her more than I can express and because she deserves it.  And I want my dad to rest easy knowing that she is being taken good care of. I know all of my siblings feel the same and are doing what they can from where they are.

    Now when it seems that you can't stand
    Just hold on to God's unchanging hand
    Yeah, weeping may, yes, endure for just one night
    But joy will come in the morning light

    So hold on, help is on the way

hereditary

Our family history goes that my Grandma Chandler starting having painful arthritis in her 20s, after having a few children.  She was devastated because she wanted more children and was worried this would keep her from doing so.  She got a blessing (special prayer) that comforted her and gave her courage.  She ended up having 12 children in all.  May Dad said that some people questioned how her husband could be so heartless, expecting her to keep having children in her condition. They did not realize that - and she wrote about this - that she felt so much better, almost arthritis free when pregnant.  So, she was blessed in the things she wanted.  (I think people assume that it's the husband who wants to have more and more children, where often it's the wife who wants more and feels so inspired, and needs to convince the husband!)

The 10 out of 12 children that lived to adulthood
(two died young from diseases that are rare today)
I know they were all so grateful for their lives and to be in that family.
They have all passed on and I truly believe they are together again.

Well, arthritis runs in the family.   I know I have cousins who were afflicted with it early on, just as our grandma was.  My dad suffered with it for at least half his life.  I know my Mom has it as well.  So, it was no surprise that the doctor told me today that I have the beginnings of it, in my left knee.  But, hurray hurray, she supports my wanting to keep walking!  She suggested some shoe inserts for arch support and some physical therapy to show me some good exercises to do at home.  It's really nothing compared to what some of my family has gone through.  So I will take what I've been given and carry on!