"Fresh Off The Market"

 Our niece, Jordan, who is getting married in October, had a wedding shower this month. The theme was "She's Fresh Off The Market". It was SO cute. Jordan is someone who always makes me happy, and I feel blessed to have known her for her entire life. She deserves the happiness coming her way! (I just wish I had gotten a picture of HER at her shower). 

Bear's Windy Birthday

 Going back to July, it is a month full of birthdays for our family, and I love every one of them! But I do want to highlight Bear's this year. It was on a Thursday and he wanted to roast hot dogs and smores at the beach. Lester & Julia were 100% dedicated to making this happen, in spite of it being one of the windiest days I can remember.

 Ocean Beach in SF is one of the their favorite, and one of the few around here that allows open fires, and has pits for them. So in spite of the wind blowing everything around, they were able to keep the fire lit and make it happen. In fact, we were not the only crazy ones on the beach attempting the same thing. Bear was very happy, and running around like any other beach day, and like any other joyful and feel good birthday in his life. I was quite impressed with their whole family, and glad that Samantha & I braved the wind too and experienced this with them. (Reggie was on a trip, Luke was at work, but there in spirit of course.)

I didn't manage to take any pictures, but here are a couple from another, less windy day. 

comings and goings this Labor Day weekend

 And just like that they are gone . . . . . . . . but only about 5 miles away! Our Pineda family has found a nice house to rent in the Sunset area of San Francisco. I plan on going over after church tomorrow. 

So now I am spending this holiday weekend moving things around in the house to where I want them to be. Well, with input from those who still live here that is. But I am loving it. I am really happy that there are still traces of the Pinedas, and all the family, and all the generations of family that have lived here.

 I've decorated the piano and tops of the bookcases for fall. I love that the bookcases are full of children's books which I've acquired all year. Any rugs or furniture that Julia & Lester are not ready to take to their new place will be put to good use here. In the background I have on some of my end of summer/beginning of fall movies, like the Pirates of the Caribbean. I can't get enough of the 3 way sword fight over the key to a treasure chest, in the second movie!

 I also have on my Autumn playlist while I am working in the backyard, in our beautiful Autumn sunshine. 

One of the questions that is asked, to gauge if you are spiraling into depression, is if you have lost interest in the things you like to do. In being honest with myself, I think that I've not lost the interest, but sometimes I've lost the hope that I will ever have time to do the things I like and want to do. So being able to spend a holiday weekend working on my house feels SO good, and makes me SO happy . . . . which makes me relieved THAT it makes me happy! 

So until the next wave of comings and goings that hit this beautiful house, here are some random pictures that show just how much I love it. 

                                                (not our door, but our house feels that cozy to me)

And I like this song - makes me feel optimistic

questioning the bad and the good

 Sometimes I stop and ask myself "Why am I so upset right now?" or "Why am I so happy right now?" I guess because keeping data, so to speak, may help me make changes, or stay on the right path, to feeling good. 

But, my biggest question right now is, "Why does writing help me so much?!!!!!" I guess the answer is, "who cares - just go with it!". It has been a difficult week and yesterday was SUCH a difficult day at work. I have had such a hard time not obsessing about it. Not obsessing about conflicts with people is at the top of my "Mental Care Bucket List" right now. And yet, when I wrote about it in my own separate journal, I felt so much better! I just don't get it. But again, that is a question that doesn't need to be answered, and I am so grateful for the time and opportunity to write. 

In regards to my Mental Care Bucket List, it is an active work in progress and I am thinking that I might share, on the blog, some things I am studying and learning - just in case it helps anyone else out there. At the very least, as we know, writing it down will help me!

In the meantime, here are some happy thoughts I saved from Facebook.

field trips

I was told, at work, that by mid-June I would be back with the 2 through 4 year olds, which is where I started when I was first hired. That was fine with me, but it only lasted one day. It turned out the school age summer camp program had a lot more enrollees than they had anticipated - some days up to 72 kids. This included kindergarteners that I had worked with all year, and other kids up to the 5th grade. The ratio, by law, is 14 kids to one teacher. So they had to open a lot more classes to accommodate. Some days I had my own class, and some days I was a support teacher, helping in bigger rooms where they were able to have dozens of kids. It was crazy loud, but a lot of fun.

I especially enjoyed the field trips, which happened once a week. Of course I couldn't take pictures of the kids, but I took pictures of my view during my quiet, half hour lunch breaks.

Tunnel Tops Playground in the Presidio

  Coyote Point Playground and beach along the Bay. The kids 

did not touch the water, but they were allowed to walk along the beach.

                                                           The Exploratorium in San Francisco

I didn't get pictures of the Planetarium or Splash Pad in San Mateo. But, here are some internet pictures of the children's museum in San Jose and the Seven Seas park/splash pad in Sunnyvale.

I also want to remember the little boy who, for his first field trip which was his first day at the center, would not get on the bus. His dad and all of us were trying to convince him to go, and he started crying and told his dad "but I'm just so nervous". That made me realize that he really did want to go, but the unknown was just overwhelming. So I took his hand and started to move and he still wouldn't come. So I tried another technique - such a little thing - of putting my hand in one of his hands and my other arm around his shoulder and guided him rather than pulling him. It worked, and he got on the bus. We sat together and he told me all kinds of things that he knew and was interested in. Once we got there, some kids invited him to play with them, which he did and seemed very happy. We sat together on the way home too, because he had more stuff to tell me. He stayed in the program for the rest of the summer. This little memory helps me have confidence in myself and in doing hard things, even when I'm nervous.

My consolation prize weekend

For most of my life summer has meant a road trip to Idaho and Utah to visit family. It is even more significant to me now that my parents' graves are there. This makes 2 years in a row of not going, and I am in withdrawals. So, I devised a consolation weekend. It did the trick and satisfied my hunger for both a road trip and a connection to my heritage.

I started down the coast, picking strawberries & eating my lunch at R&R farms. My GPS took me through the Santa Cruz mountains to my destination of Big Basin State Park. The drive was BEAUTIFUL, in spite of the winding roads. Thankfully I was there at a time of almost no traffic.

The park is coming back from a "near death experience", or in other words a fire that destroyed so much of it. There were only a few trails open, and I walked the easiest of them.

 I appreciated the signage along the way. Some pointed out the new growth happening around the blackened/burnt trees. Some pointed to the history of the park.

Because I was not on any schedule for myself, and did not watch the clock, I ended up leaving right at commute time. I told my GPS to take me on the fastest route to Fresno, where I would be staying with the Lasts. This meant avoiding the freeways, which meant driving through some cute little towns in the upper Santa Cruz area. Then it took me on some highways and freeways full of trattic that could not be avoided. Pretty soon I was in areas I had never heard of before and was worried that I was headed in the wrong direction. I called Reggie and because he is so knowledgeable about driving across CA he was able to figure out what the GPS was doing. It made sense, but it also meant I still had hours ahead of me to get to Fresno. So, because my plans all along included the possibility of staying a night in a hotel, he looked some up for me and we decided I would stay the night in Gilroy. It worked out great, and was just what I needed.

This night in the hotel gave me the chance to focus on some things I've been wanting to do for a while, without any distractions of things on my home to-do-list. I caught up on some blogging, did some therapeutic writing for myself, laid in bed, and looked at all the crafts, recipes, etc. I'd been saving on Facebook for a few months. I wrote a list of the ones I'd like to try in the next few months.

The next morning I was refreshed and finished my journey to Mariah's & Ross' place. Hillary and her kids were there too. It was a lot of fun. We did Old Town Clovis together and just hung out.

On Sunday I drove back home, listening to some great Conference/inspirational talks.

This short, weekend trip did the trick for me. I feel like I had my road trip, and I still look forward to one to Utah & Idaho, hopefully next year. (I love this song, but wish I could find a lyric video for it.)

I have decided for myself, however, that I don't want to do huge road trips by myself anymore. To Fresno was definitely enough alone time. I know that Reggie & or Samantha are always willing to tag along, so that is certainly something to look forward to.