Christmas Night - Love you Grandma Hanaike

I blogged the following several days ago but decided to save it.  I wanted it to be the last thing I post in 2019.

Reggie's Mom passed away this Christmas night.  It is so hard to think about a loved one dying until you see them suffering.  Then you are just praying to God to take them home. Last night, Christmas Eve, she was suffering; most of the family convened at her daughter's home, where she was staying, to take turns visiting her in her bedroom.  I don't think there has been a Christmas Eve in the last 60 something years where she was not surrounded by her posterity, so I'm glad we were together.   I don't know how aware she was of her family being there and loving her through it all, but it is a night that I'm sure none of us will forget but always cherish - especially knowing that the night ended with her receiving enough more medicine to relieve her pain.  It makes the phrase "sleep in Heavenly peace" even more meaningful.

And now she is with Jesus.  I can just imagine the big hug she got from him just hours ago.  She lived a good life.  She loved and raised her children alone, through thick and thin.  As the grandkids started coming she was able to sit back and relax with them and be the happiest, sweetest and most fun grandma ever.  For me, she was the best mother-in-law I could have hoped for - I always felt secure, supported, and loved.  And now I feel lonely being the only Grandma Hanaike but I also feel determined to carry on her good name.

For this year of 2019 Reggie was able to spend some really important time with her - of course, we didn't know how important and fleeting that time was until about 3 weeks ago.  As many Saturdays as possible this year Reggie took his Mom on outings.  They would go get breakfast, or go out for a drive, and on the last one they went up to our Oakland Temple.  I am so glad they had that time together, and that he was able to be with her when she passed.

So we will miss her.  We will miss her voice, her greeting of "hey Babe, what's doin?", our celebrating her 18th birthday with her every year, watching her chase the great-grandchildren around the house, her funny and gentle sneeze, her crocheting of blankets.  We thank God for putting us in her family.  We thank God for seeing her through and taking her home.  We thank our Savior for making it possible for us to be with her again someday.

Christmas Day

This Christmas was calm and quiet; just Samantha, Luke, Reggie and Me.  We slept in, opened our stockings and a few presents around 10, and then relaxed till 2pm.  At that point Samantha, Luke and I took dinner to my Mom and brother Lloyd.  Reggie went to be with his Mom.

It was fun opening presents with Grandma Chandler and talking about new technology with her and Lloyd.  In the evening we relaxed at home by the Christmas tree lights while I worked on a few more projects and while we tried to catch up and make sense of the Star Wars plots; I'm still looking forward to seeing the new movie.

Knowing that the house was going to get beautifully loud a crazy in a few days, it was nice to have a calm and peaceful Christmas Day.

The end result of the Avenger's Scarves!

My family made me so happy!  I made 23 scarves, with colors that matched specific Avengers (which I blogged about a few times this year).  I put a tag on each scarf, with the Avenger's picture, and an explanation of their qualities.  The family members who haven't watched the movies were a little bit confused, so I tried to explain in advance.  I loved everyone's reactions!  I can't say they were truly thrilled to get such a present, but I think they embraced the humor of it.  And I don't think the children have the ability yet to pretend to love a gift, and so their reactions were priceless to me.  I pointed out who was related to who - for example Isla's and Audrey's scarves were of the sister of Reggie's Black Panther Scarf.  They were pretty excited to tell him that they were his sisters.  Anyway, it was a pretty fun and funny project that saw me through the second half of this year and I am grateful.

Captain Marvel, Captain America and Nebula

Loki and Iron Man

Thor and the Okoye, head of the Black Panther warriors

Black Panther's Sister Shuri and Spider Gwen

The Black Panther

another one for the books

Reggie's sister hosted Christmas Eve this year.  Reggie's Mom was staying with her and not feeling well, so it was nice for so many of us to be together and still be able to take our turns visiting with her in her room.

While in the living room there was joy and laughter and a lot of reminiscing about the family throughout the years.  I especially had the chance to hang out with Krista and Jordan this time.  I've been thinking a lot about how fun it is that Reggie and his siblings had kids around he same time, and that we all lived close to each other, and it was always about birthday parties and holidays and outings and backyard American Girl plays.  As a stay at home mom I even got to babysit some of his nieces for a few years.  So while we were hanging out I told Krista and Jordan that they would never guess what I was giving them this year - that it was homemade and something I give them every year.  They both reacted very happily and knew that it was cookie mixes, in cute decorative Christmas boxes with some kind of cooking tool added for good measure.  I don't know if they were really excited about it or just being nice but it really made me feel good.  And then 2 days later Jordan texted me a comment saying she was baking up a storm and added a picture of how well the cookies were coming out.

This is definitely a special Christmas for the Hanaike family, of coming together and loving and supporting each other.  I am so happy to be and to have been the kid's "Auntie Nancy" all of their lives.  I love them so much and look forward to many years to come.

Christmas Eve sunrise

I know we all endure sleepless nights, whether it is because of illness or worry or just plain old insomnia.  We've had some of that around here, like everyone else.  But luckily and hopefully like everyone else, sometimes we can't sleep because of the pure excitement of the season.

Today I was up before the sun and enjoyed a beautiful Christmas Eve sunrise.  I am feeling the peace that often shows up on Christmas Eve, no matter the circumstances.  And I am listening to my Christmas playlist - only 2 days left while I prepare stocking stuffers!  I am skipping through any wintery songs though, because on Thursday I begin my winter playlist which will take me straight on till spring.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas Eve.  I hope that no matter what your circumstances you enjoy some excitement and peace. And on this most special day I want to thank my Savior for coming to earth in the most humble of circumstances, for changing the world through his 3 years of ministry, and for saving our eternities with his atonement. I wish I could say it more eloquently and thoroughly, but I guess that's what our Christmas songs are for.  So I'm going to get back to it!

back to it!

I am so proud of Luke and Samantha who are home now for their Christmas break.  They both got right back to work.  Luke has been putting in early morning hours at the bakery - what a blessing it is to have a job to come home to when he is not at college.  Samantha got right back to it helping me and Reggie around the house.  She has taken on her regular jobs, helped with our HUGE basement transformation project (which I will blog about later) and spent extended time with the Grandmas.  We are so happy that they are here!

Christmas Eve with the Fezziwig's

Is there any more well-known, fictional, Christmas Eve story than that of “A Christmas Carol”?

Recently I made it a tradition to read it every year and things pop out at me each time.  This year it is especially the description of Mr. and Mrs. Fezziwig, who were young Ebenezer Scrooge’s boss and wife.  The book describes them in this way:

“Old Fezziwig laid down his pen, and looked up at the clock, which pointed to the hour of seven.  He rubbed his hands; adjusted his capacious waistcoat; laughed all over himself, from his shoes to his organ of benevolence; and called out in a comfortable, oily, rich, fat, jovial voice:  YO HO, THERE!”

At that point Scrooge and the other clerk happily and hurredly get the room ready for the office Christmas party.  Then the guests arrive, including Mrs. Fezziwig. Dickens said of her:

“In came Mrs. Fezziwig, one vast substantial smile.  As to her, she was worthy to be his partner in every sense of the term.  If that’s not high praise, tell me higher, and I’ll use it.”

I have loved the Fezziwig’s since my parents took our family to see the musical version of “Scrooge”. 
The office Christmas party was so well done and captured the spirit of these characters Dickens created.
The big hall, fully decorated, with dozens of people and this old couple leading the way - dancing the most
and laughing the most - was such a happy scene.  

In the past few years I’ve seen this part of the story come to life at “The Dickens Fair” in San Francisco.
The large dance hall named after the Fezziwig’s, trimmed with boughs of holly and people dancing
in period clothing is the first area you walk into. If you’re not careful a participant will invite you to join
in the dance and teach you how to do it.  

To me, the most memorable and meaningful thing about this part of the book and movie, is Scrooge’s discussion with the Ghost of Christmas Past.  Quoting some of the movie and some of the book:

Scrooge: “What a wonderful man”.  Ghost: “What’s so wonderful about him?  All he’s done is spent but a few pounds of your mortal money.  Is that so much that he deserves this praise?” Scrooge :“You don’t understand.  He has the power to render us happy or unhappy; to make our work a pleasure or a burden."  

I think we all have a little of that power.  No matter what our resources, the way we treat each other, the attitude we have with each other, the things we share or withold from each other, has the power to make people's lives a pleasure or a burden.

I hope to be more like the Fezziwig's.

Look who came to help us get ready for Christmas!

Grandson Elijah (and Hillary Mama) came to 

visit for the weekend! 

Elijah was very helpful: 

Serving dinner

Making cookies, more than once:

He did his best at serving them, one by one, on this little spatula.  Oops!

 partying with Avonlea -

 holding his new cousin, Emmy

and most of all, visiting the Grandmas

I wish I had pictures of him with Grandma Hanaike; luckily the girls took videos (which I don't know how to share) of Eli and Avonlea sitting on the bed with Grandma Hanaike watching movies, and playing train in chairs at her bedside.  Grandma Hanaike fell in and out of sleep while they were there, but we know she could still hear their happy sounds through it all.  In fact, at one point, while her eyes were closed, Grandma Hanaike started to say "slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch!" and the kids ran out of the room as fast as they could!

So much happiness and joy happened in such a short amount of time.  Hillary loved driving by the beach, as the monster waves splashed onto our car, and she loved relaxing on the cold beach with Mariah and Hanaike cousins.  She loved the beautiful clouds and thick, misty fog.  We love her and are so glad they came!

A Christmas Bell for Anya

  

SPOILERS: if you are interested in this book, and don't want to know how it ends, stop reading now.

I bought the book "A Christmas Bell for Anya" years ago.  I knew it was sad, but important, but sad, but important; in other words I've gone back and forth in my feelings about it.  But this year I love it. I used to think that no story could - even at Christmas time - have a happy or peaceful ending if the ending includes death.  But right now it is clicking for me.  Right now, knowing why the angels sang to herald his birth, knowing why the world did and does rejoice, knowing that he took away the sting and finality of death, has helped me see the hope and joy in books such as "A Christmas Bell for Anya".

The second to last page reads:

At last, he turned and started walking away from the square when, lifting his eyes to the morning light, he suddenly stopped.  He didn't see her, but he knew; somehow he knew that Anya was near.  Then he felt her whisper the message she wanted him to hear.  "He was born, Father, so that I might live.  I'm still living, Father, and I'll be waiting for you."He fell to his knees in the snow, overcome with relief and gratitude.  A sudden warmth seemed to fill him as her words touched his heart.

the drawers

This year Mariah and Avonlea have been our Christmas elves, decking the halls with boughs of paper chains, snowflakes, stockings, and trimming the tree.

Now that the house is all set (and I might add more pictures later) there is one thing that Avonlea loves to do to end each day - and that is "the drawers".  Our advent calendar is a cute little cupboard with 25 drawers; big enough to hold one piece of candy per person and one piece of paper with a scripture on it.  Avonlea happily hands out the candy, although Reggie noticed she always holds on to the first piece for herself, and then passes out what's left.  The scriptures have been from Isaiah and correlate with the songs from Handel's "Messiah".

Just another, little thing that is helping keep this a Merry Christmas.

a Cinderella weekend

(Putting a lighthearted name on something helps me a lot!)

This weekend Reggie and I were going to take a trip to Utah to do lots of Christmas events with Hillary and family.  But some things came up that made us feel like we needed to cancel and stay close to home.  So, we are still spending the weekend together by working on household tasks that need to be done and then hopefully "going to the ball" each night, meaning going to see a movie, or getting a pizza and watching Christmas movies at home, and most importantly throwing some visits in with both of our Moms.

a break in the rain; this view will never get old

This has also resulted in Hillary deciding to take a little trip next week to come and see us, and that will be great!

So, I want to give a shout out to my blog, where the writing of things down helps me put everything into a healthy perspective.

But most of all I want to make sure Reggie knows that I love going through life with him - through the rain and shine, ups and downs, weekends away and Cinderella weekends at home.

ps - only a few weeks till the kids are all home, and though we are loving Christmas music, this song is also running through my mind!

where the theme takes me

I thought the theme of Christmas Eve wouldn't mean much until we got to December 24th.  But all of a sudden the memories of how our family has celebrated Christmas Eve for the past 32 years is flooding my mind.

Christmas Eve has always been a Hanaike family event.  When Reggie was a child his family's tradition was to hang out together all evening, until midnight and then open presents.  The opening of presents was over in about 5 minutes.  But the passing out of presents was quite a fun process.  Everyone chose an area of the living room/dining room, and then helped pass out presents to the designated spots.  Then it was the count down to midnight and the rest is history.

The tradition continued as spouses, significant others and children joined the family.

The evening festivities included lots of good food:  the main course was usually made by Uncle Gil and we all contributed with the sides and desserts.  To pass time there was lots of game playing and dancing and movie watching and dosing off.  The kids especially like to crowd in Grandma's bed together for a good Christmas movie.

As the years went on the mommies and daddies started getting pretty tired long before midnight, and had a lot of work to do in their own homes to get ready for Santa after the kids were in bed.  So the debate arose about opening presents a few hours earlier than midnight.  That eventually became the new tradition.

Now Reggie and I are enjoying seeing our grandchildren partake in this tradition.  Their Great Auntie's and Uncles and cousins and Grandma Hanaike (whom I call THE ULTIMATE Grandma Hanaike, to differentiate us) are so generous and loving towards them.  It's so fun and so sweet.

I don't know how much longer this tradition will go on as people continue to spread out/move away.  But the memories will be a major part of our story and I am so grateful.

(There are so many pictures in our albums of these Christmas Eves that I wish I had time to go through and scan and add to this post.  But there are also plenty on the computer of the past few years and that will have to do.)

I love the look on Mariah's face - it perfectly shows how Grandma is
comfort and a soft place to land.

"Heads Up!

"snowball" fight!

mermaid tails for the little girls!

Star Wars hats for the toddlers

Not only has Luke grown up with lots of sisters but lots of girl cousins as well!

Giants tickets and orange hats for all the young adults from Matt & Maya!

There's no-one like our Matriarch, Grandma Hanaike!