1/4 of a century!

 Well, I guess my last post of 2020 will be to say Happy Birthday! to Samantha, as she turned 25 years old.  I feel confident that great things are coming her way next year!

2020 wrap up - the fires

 In August I blogged about how we had a fascinating lightning storm in the middle of one night.  After that, fire season - which is a problem every year - became bigger than ever before.  Several states were burning, for a multitude of reasons.  I have a sister in Cloverdale that it especially affected, and they had their bags packed, ready to evacuate if necessary.  Fortunately they did not.  They way it affected us was smoky air for months, ash on the cars each morning, favorite places to drive to closed down and people asked to not travel/keep certain roads open for fire fighters - and one of the strangest days I've ever experienced in my life.

I got up for work as usual, and started noticing that the sun did not seem to be rising; it was unusually dark for the morning.  I went to work in the daytime darkness with such an eerie feeling.  All of the street lights in the neighborhood and at our school automatically stayed on.  People took pictures from around the Bay Area of similar scenes, wondering what the heck was going on - thinking that maybe this was the apocalypse or something.  It lasted for one day, and was due to the fires.  We took the following pictures:

2020 wrap up - BLM

In the summer of 2020 a new issue that has been simmering for years blew up, almost as big as the Corona Virus: Black Lives Matter/Police Brutality/Race Relations. There were protests and violence that lasted days, weeks and months. I explained my feelings about the subject on facebook: how our family was getting involved and what we were trying to do to help:

"Since the end of May I've been writing what I call "Sweet Stories". They are true and come from episodes of the family history show "Finding Your Roots", and other stories that have been in the news. Though the show has guests of many ethnicities and different heritages I have chosen to highlight ones about African Americans.

Years ago, when I first heard the phrase "Black Lives Matter" I instantly thought that the rest of the sentence was "as much as anyone else". I felt and still feel that this needs to be said over and

over again. At least to me it is not a phrase against any other groups of people, but a reminder that black lives have never been equal in this country, from before we were even a country, and we need to concentrate on fixing that. Yes improvements have been made but we have a long way to go. Yes there are successful black lives that have made it to the top, but I promise you that all along the way they have dealt with prejudice and injustice that people of other ethnicities have not. And I don't think that the successful ones should be used against those that are still struggling, with people saying "if they made it then you have no excuse not to".

No I don't believe that all black people have to feel or believe or vote the same way. No I don't believe that white people and the police are to blame for everything. No I don't believe that we need to get rid of or defund the police. But I do believe we need reform. I believe we need to look at ourselves and have more empathy. I believe that it's ok to realize that celebrating Independence Day of 1776 might feel differently for those whose African American ancestors the freedoms did not apply. That does not mean they hate this country or our flag. It does mean that they have the right to try to change things for the better - for themselves and for future generations. If one group of people can ask for change and say "Make America Great Again" and not be accused of hating the country, then other people who want to make changes that they think will make America greater than ever before should not be accused of hating the country - changes that will finally fulfill the promises the founding fathers made in the first place.

So I know there is debate out there now as to whether the Black Lives Matter organization is a hate group or not. I don't know the answer to that. I know there are break-off groups - people claiming to be from the Black Lives Matter movement but are going in a more radical direction, yet still associating themselves to the original group. This kind of thing has happened throughout history to many, even religious organizations and churches - break off groups that are still erroneously associated with the original church. So whatever one's feelings are about the Black Lives Matters organization I hope that we as a nation can agree that the words "black lives matter as much as anyone else" are important and need constant remembering.

Yes the police have difficult jobs and go through a lot; and of course no one race is innocent of any and all crimes; but if the police officers jobs are leading them to see people of a certain ethnicity as the bad guys then they need some help - they need reform, retraining, counseling or something.

So, I'm not sure what I can do to help. It feels good to be able to express my feelings and I appreciate anyone who has read this far! I have to say I am proud of my children who all participated in peaceful protests across the nation, in three different states, on the same day, to bring some of these issues to light and to offer support to those who have had experiences that they never will have. And I recognize and thank the police who were present to help if needed. And just in case this needs to be clarified, of course I do not think rioting and other forms of violence are ok.

So far, what I have thought to do is write these "Sweet Stories" because, as one of my favorite quote says, " Respect and appreciation for all of our differences grow out of exposure and working together." I think it is empowering and important for all of us to see what people have faced and how they have risen above it, giving hope without judgment for those who are still climbing.

I appreciate you all, my facebook friends and family. It is ok if you don't agree with me on these issues, and I hope you see it is ok that I feel so passionate about them. Either way I hope we can still enjoy the things that have brought us together in this beautiful country and this beautiful world."

2020 wrap up - politics

 Facebook became a big part of my life this summer.  I ended up debating, mostly with my siblings, about politics and social issues.  I learned a lot about myself - like that I can get more heated than I thought, and I learned the importance of being humble enough to say "you made a good point" or "I've never thought of it that way" or "I guess we can agree to disagree" and the importance of sometimes letting someone else have the last word.  I also know it has helped me to know my limitations and just not look at political postings anymore - even if that means avoiding someone's facebook page altogether.  That is not making any judgment on them or myself.  It just helps me when I am getting too obsessed or upset by the topics.  And I assume there are people who don't look at my facebook page for the similar reasons.

But, because the blog saves things better than facebook does, and I am writing it as a history for my family, I am going to include here something I wrote on my facebook over the summer that explains a bit about who I am and why I was voting the way I did:

"Instead of filling in all the facebook categories I've decided I'd rather just do a post "all about me". I am very religious - a Christian and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I love our country and feel very patriotic and protective of it. I am a Democrat. I vote the way I do because of my beliefs, and not in spite of them. That is not to diminish anybody else who votes differently than I do, according to their conscience or from their beliefs. If I refer to "my faith" I am not speaking on behalf of my church, because happily our church has not and will not tell us who to vote for. If I refer to "my faith" I am talking about my beliefs.

As most of you, I see this election as an extraordinarily important moment for our country. In my opinion, though our president has his good qualities, as everyone does, I think his leadership is dangerous for our country and for democracy as a whole. I think we are dangerously moving from pledging allegiance to our flag/country to pledging allegiance to a man. For example, our freedom of speech has been diminished when he has fired people for speaking out or testifying against him. Our freedom of speech and the vote and our lives have been threatened when he has with-held emergency relief from states whose majority did not vote for him and whose governors have spoken against him. As he told his vice-president about one such governor asking for aide "don't speak to her" and "I only speak to people who are nice to me". Though both parties have accused each other of lying and of fake news, our very lives - our children's lives are in danger when, in speaking of going back to school, he has said that children cannot get the virus. That is absolutely false. And worst of all, in my opinion, the President of the United States, Donald Trump, flagrantly broke state laws by flying into Nevada, for example, holding indoor rallies for himself, inviting thousands of people to attend against the mandate of no more than 50 people congregating indoors; these rallies obviously did not include social distancing of people staying 6 feet apart, and most attendees did not wear masks. These people then went back into their unsuspecting communities sharing the health risks/germs they took upon themselves, possibly exposing thousands more who never chose to take those risks. People around the country have been put in jail for breaking these laws but of course, not our president. He put millions of lives in danger throughout 2020, some resulting in death. What kind of an leader is that? What kind of an example is he? And what are we teaching our next generation when our president refuses to admit any mistake he may have made, not saying "I'll look into it" but saying "I take no responsibility".

I know that most of my facebook family and friends are voting for the political party that they feel will protect their religious beliefs. But I do not trust that President Trump will keep any promise or continue to represent anything if it all of a sudden becomes in his best interest to switch positions.

So - that is me. I hope I have not offended anybody by giving my opinions of President Trump and some of the reasons that I will not vote for him. I know that most of my facebook friends and family do not agree with me, and that's okay. But I guess what I am asking is to please not buy into the idea that the Democratic party is not religious and not patriotic. Again, I love my Savior, and I love my country - in that order.

And one last thing - much of my family and I have been going the rounds on facebook the last few months debating and disagreeing and hashing all of this out. As far as I know, thankfully, no relationships have been ruined - no one has been cut off from each other; I want them all to know how much I dearly love them. I also appreciate all of my facebook friends and as we get closer to the election I'd like to borrow a quote from A Christmas Carol - "God bless us, everyone"."

did I leave anything out?

 My Mom is watching the news, which is doing a review of the year 2020.  I believe news shows do this every year, but boy what a lot they have to tell about this one.  It has made me wonder if I've recorded here, on the blog, enough about what we as a nation and a world and a family have gone through this year.  I think I've covered the Corona Virus pretty well.  But unusual and shocking things that have been simmering for years blew wide open in 2020.   For example, an unprecedented fire season for several states - including California; a "last straw" feeling and moment in race relations that resulted in days, weeks, months-long protests and un-rest throughout the country, of which I am proud to say my children participated in on one particular day in 3 different states; 2020 was a presidential election year - even for politics it was unusually heated and emotional for most Americans, and it too included protests and counter protests from all sides of the political spectrum, and historic voter turnout.  

Well, I am going to go over my blog right now, and post about any of this that I may have left out.

cookie exchange

 It sounds ridiculous in a house where people are making cookies almost every night - but the kids had the idea that during the week before Christmas we have a cookie exchange - just our household.  Some of us did homemade and some of us did store-bought.  It was fun and funny.  For me, I challenged myself to not do chocolate chip but something more traditionally festive.  So, from the "Dicken's Fair at Home" website I tried the Snickerdoodle recipe.  I have tried so many snickerdoodle recipes but never found one I liked, until now.  I also made gingerbread dolls, which I haven't done for years.  I guess that's why I didn't know that some of the family likes gingerbread.  It was a fun stay-at-home, shelter-in-place activity. 

care package

 Hillary and family sent me a care package before Christmas, just because.  I absolutely loved the contents and their thoughtfulness.

I took pictures of the ornaments that were included because I love that they are ocean themed and just so pretty hanging on our green Christmas tree. 

giving Germany another look

 I came across a PBS show called "Rick Steve's European Christmas".  Obvious to it's name it showed how Christmas is celebrated in all the different European countries.  I was especially interested in the full blown, beautiful Kriskindlmarkt in Germany.  Reggie and I and our Dobbins family went to a Kriskindlemarkt in Salt Lake City that was wonderful; to actually go to one where they originated sounds fascinating.  

This got me thinking that there must be so many wonderful and beautiful things about Germany that I know nothing about; I'm afraid both World Wars are all I think about and have learned about when it comes to Germany.  So, I have given myself a mini-project to learn more about the traditions and landscape and lovely things about that country.  To start with, I now know that the song "O Christmas Tree" comes from Germany and is actually titled "O Tanenbaum" and that the song "Silent Night" was written by a Catholic Priest and his church's organist from from Germany.

another Christmas come and gone

Christmas Eve was not what we had planned but turned out to be fun anyway.  The hit of the night was the family present we opened early - a corn hole game.  (I've always wanted one of those).  The little ones were hilarious in their elation when they made it and expressions of frustration when they didn't.  The one year old sat at the end of it and put all the bean bags that missed into the hole, then clapped for the contestant.  It was pretty cute.

We all ended up going to bed early, which was okay.  But it was the first time in 30 something years that the stockings were not filled on Christmas Eve.  Luckily everyone in this house are late sleepers and Reggie and I got up early enough to get the job done.  Funny how Santa thought to put hand sanitizer and face masks in the stockings this year.  It was also fun to have my Mom here and fill a stocking for her as well. 

 Christmas day we caught up on fun things planned like gingerbread houses and movie watching, while feeling grateful for the stormy day (we certainly need the rain around here).

Though I am feeling my usual sadness that it's over, I am feeling strangely ready for January to come - which is a post for another day.  But there are still some things to look forward to in this last week of December, like Samantha's birthday, New Year's Eve, etc. 

Dickens Fair at Home

So many traditional events have had to be cancelled this year because of the virus, and we have felt that more than ever with Christmas coming. But I so appreciate all the event planners being willing to make up "Plan B's" to keep us going. Right before Thanksgiving we got a notice for "Dickens Fair at Home". The Dickens Fair has been a San Francisco tradition for 20 years. But because it is closed this year, they are providing a website full of musical and theatrical performances, recipes, shopping, stories, and more, right up till Christmas. One fun thing about it is they open up a new section each weekend; you can go back and access the things you missed in prior weekends, but you can't access things ahead of time. So today I am doing "weekend five December 19 & 20" which just became available.

So far I have listened to a reading of "A Christmas Carol", taken a tour of how they turn the Cow Palace warehouse into Victorian England each year, learned how to make some Victorian Christmas Crafts, listened to some musical and theatrical performances, and am hoping to make some of the recipes they have provided.

I am so thankful for this enduring spirit that people have found of pulling together and making the best of things.

Siobeg Siomor, played by Bangers & Mash

To go with my "Dicken's Fair at home" post above:  one of the musical selections provided.  Very simple but very pretty.

What to do on Christmas Eve

 I am sitting here trying to think about what we will do on this "stay at home" Christmas Eve.  Games I hope; maybe gingerbread houses?  I don't know but it is fun to think about.  These songs are inspiring me:

Addy's Baptism

 Our 8 year old granddaughter, Addy, was baptized in Idaho on Saturday.  It was such a special experience to "attend".  Honestly, if there was no such thing as ZOOM gatherings (new to our covid 2020) we probably would not have been able to see it or be a part of it.  So I am grateful for the experience.

I am glad she was able to and wanted to get baptized.  It was a step of faith for her little self.  I'm sure it is something she will contemplate and appreciate even more as she grows.  I am especially happy that she also received the "confirmation" or gift of the Holy Ghost.  In our church we are taught that all people have the light of Christ, to tap into their whole lives long whenever they want.  But, after getting baptized, someone also receives the gift of the Holy ghost.  This is what makes me so happy for Addy - to have that added help and inspiration, or "still small voice" to help her navigate her life is beyond wonderful.

Congratulations to our Addy.  We love her so much.  (ps - the box/beatles had nothing to do with the baptism.  This is just the most recent picture I could find of her and it shows off her beautiful smile!)

caring for someone or even losing someone at Christmas time

 Last year Reggie's Mom was not feeling well at the Thanksgiving dinner.  A couple of days later she was diagnosed with a stage 4 cancer.  She died on Christmas day.  

This year, the night before Thanksgiving my Mom was not feeling well.  She was able to come out of her room and ate a good Thanksgiving dinner the next day.  However, a couple of days later she was sick with a fever.  She was diagnosed with an infection and given a 5 day antibiotic prescription. Then she got another ailment and medicine, and now another infection and prescription.   All of this is curable but taking a toll  on her body.  

 It seems that Christmas must be the worst time to care for your sick someone and watch them suffer, or even worse, lose your someone at Christmas time.  But I am surprised to find out that it can be a sweet and sacred time full of extra blessings for those who are in this situation.  That has been my experience so far anyway.

Either my Mom needs help in the middle of the night or I am waking up during the night worried that I haven't heard her stirring.  I get up in the morning with an overwhelming scared-of-life feeling.  But then the first thing I see as I walk out my bedroom door is a Christmas tree.  When I am in her room helping her, or at other times when she is just resting, I put on YouTube and play one-after-the other Christmas episodes of Music and the Spoken Word or Christmas devotionals or just Christmas musical numbers.  This morning, as she was resting in her recliner, I climbed into her bed and we watched "Mr. Krueger's Christmas. (Her hospital bed is adjustable and really nice and cozy!) I also rely on the Echo to play my Christmas playlist.  And wrapping her presents and putting them under the tree is a significant act of comfort and hope.

Last year, as Reggie's mom was fading away, my cousin who knew nothing about it posted a link to an article about a man in our church - Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland I think - who spent Christmas Eve with his dying father in the hospital.  He spoke about how the timing of it was so depressing to him.  Then he started remembering the sacredness of the season and the whole point of Jesus living and dying for us.  He suddenly felt especially strong and cared for as his father died that night.  

Years ago I bought a random children's Christmas picture book called "A Christmas Bell for Anya".  After reading it I decided I had wasted my money because it was about death at Christmas time.  Since last year however I treasure that book.  It was money well spent.

As I care for my sick mom this Christmas season, and as we said goodbye to Reggie's Mom last Christmas season, I have felt an overwhelming amount of comfort.

a happy place, if you can stand the wait

 I did something crazy Saturday afternoon - went to the mall!  I have done most of my shopping online but wanted to go to the Disney Store - it's weird that the sales in the store are not the same as online, and this weekend were much better.  It was a long line to get into the store, but pleasant, not crowded shopping once inside.  It kind of made me happy!

angels among us

 My Mom is 90 and she's been sick lately.  Just these 2 facts puts us on a roller coaster ride of emotions.  Needless to say I've been doing a lot of praying, asking for help as we take care of her: asking for the stamina, inspiration, strength and knowledge to take care of her.  Whenever I sit in her room I notice, to the left of her bed, a picture of her parents and a picture of my dad.  Besides asking God for help I find myself asking them for help that I can do right by her, because they love her about as much as I do.

Last weekend my sister Lynette visited and helped take care of her.  At night we were sitting around talking about the next life and keeping things in perspective.  She reminded us that our Mom has said that there are people who have passed on all around us to help us.  I'm so glad she brought back my Mom's words to comfort us.

I've also been thinking a lot about how my Mother-In-Law, who passed one year ago, has been helping us.  My Mom loved hanging out with her at family parties and being grandmas together and she was really sad to hear that she had passed.  But now Reggie and his siblings have all kinds of tips and experience and products of hers that are helping my Mom - like a doorbell that she can use to call us when she needs us.  

There is a Christmas song that I have not loved in the past, but all of a sudden the chorus keeps running through my mind bringing me comfort.  I love it now:

Oh I believe there are angels among us

Sent down to us from somewhere up above

They come to you and me in our darkest hours

To show us how to live, to teach us how to give

To guide us with the light of love

Avonlea's spot

In my post about our Christmas trees I mentioned how our bedrooms are our sanctuaries/retreats.  Some of us don't have our own rooms however, and so Avonlea in particular has improvised and found her own special secret spot.  It is right behind our reclining chair, next to the Christmas tree with a beautiful view out the window and padded with some of the many extra pillows of Grandma Chandler's.  You can't see her secret spot unless you peer over the chair.  Then you see it complete with a stash of toys.  I think it is adorable. 

 

Oh by the way

HAPPY DECEMBER! - Though these snowy pictures do not represent my life in any way, I like them!

Turkey Trouble

Addy sent us a "Marco Polo" video telling all about a Thanksgiving project they did in school. It was based on a book called "Turkey Trouble.

In the book the turkey tries to disguise himself so that the farmer cannot find him and cook him for Thanksgiving dinner.

The children got a template of a turkey and were told to disguise it as some literary character. Addy chose Nancy Drew. Well, we thought that was such a fun project that we all wantted to do it as family ZOOM activity. So we each to made our own turkey in disguise as a literary character.

I think the Anne of Green Gables is particularly nice.

the "C" word

I have a cousin who reached out to me/did a friend request on facebook. What a wonderful things facebook has been for that - I only remember ever seeing her a couple of times in my life and yet I have having so much fun getting to know her. She is a school teacher and the innovative ways she is doing this distance learning is so inspiring. Recently she posted about her day - the windy weather messed with her internet connection. It did not totally take it away but it made for a difficult school day. For part of the time the kids could only see her and not hear her. For part of the time the video gave the children double vision of her. She knew she could easily and have every reason to cancel the school day. But she reminded the kids that it is important to not use the "C word" if at all possible - the word "can't". So they persevered and completed their entire school day. I find this so inspiring. I know the "C" word has it's place in this world. But I am determined to use it more sparingly from now on. I certainly appreciate her example and I love getting to know her better.