"So darn easy to say that life's so hard. Everybody's got their share of battle scars. As for me I'd like to thank my lucky stars that I'm alive and well."
About a week before Christmas my arms started hurting. I thought I must have pulled a muscle. Then the other arm joined in. This week I got some X-rays done which show another arthritis diagnosis. As I've said, I've known all my life that arthritis was probably in my future. My grandmother and some cousins lived with it since their early twenties. My parents developed it probably at about my age.
So, I've been sad and scared, and in some pain, but I know that with some mental and physical adjustments to my life everything will be fine. The thing about that word "fine" is that it doesn't mean things will be as you wanted them, or your problems will just go away - but as you learn to manage them you can still be more happy than you imagined.
It is weird how this just all of a sudden presented itself - no injury or any change to my daily life, except that my body is aging. I always wanted to be the grandma that was out there climbing, playing ball and running around with the kids. But, even though I have to be more careful now, that playful/free spirit attitude can still be expressed in other ways. I can still bake with the kids, make playdough, get my hands dirty in the sand, play games and do puzzles at the table, read books, watch movies and play my children's music playlist. I can still go on easy hikes with my hiking poles. I can still go on walks, and not feel embarrassed if I am slower than everyone else. I can still have a listening ear and be ready for any conversation they'd like to have, no matter their age or mine.
I am also very thankful for doctors. I'm more aware of this because of the mundane paperwork that has to happen when you change jobs and be proactive in making sure you have health insurance. It is a real blessing to be able to get the help that I need through every stage of life.
As I wait for an upcoming appointment to discuss treatment, physical therapy exercises, medicines, etc. I also realize that there is hope. Though this won't just go away, learning how to manage it may make me feel a lot better than I do now. That is how it has gone for me with quite a few things in recent years: my bursitis barely bothers me at all now. I am managing my knee arthritis. My thyroid eye disease is in remission (if that is the right word) and my hyperthyroidism has actually retreated so I don't need to "kill" it after all, or at least not right now. And none of these things are terminal.
I've been thinking a lot about my parents and am so grateful for their examples of enjoying life through any circumstance they've been given. I have a picture of my Dad holding toddler Mariah on his shoulders. I think she was the last grandchild he was able to do that with. But then there is a picture of him with his arm around toddler Luke as they sit on the couch. I treasure the pictures of my parents going on road trips, a cruise, and a mission to Argentina well into their senior citizen years.
It is because of their examples that I am blogging about this. I write things down for me, which helps me keep life in perspective. But I like to share it, especially for my children to read and remember. Someday they will be my age, and they might experience some of the same things, and they might try to remember how I handled it. Knowing that and how my grandma, cousins, and parents handled these things helps me, and I am very grateful.
