Halloween 2020

The beautiful weather and the words "Halloween Hike" were the perfect motivation for me to get out for a little while. I feel so rejuvinated! (A trip to the Bath and Body Works sale afterwards was also a nice bonus). These days we are tag teaming it around here. My Mom has not been feeling well and we don't want to leave her alone. So this was my turn. When I got home I encouraged Reggie, Samantha and Luke to go enjoy our warm Halloween weather. I so appreciate their love and support during this time. I was also glad to see my mom feeling the holiday spirit by wanting to watch one of our favorite shows, "The ghost and Mr. Chicken". I also want to thank my teacher and co-workers and children in my class for starting off the weekend in such a fun way. We had a virtual, class party. Eveyone wore glowsticks to the party and played trivia games, etc. I also showed off our glow in the dark Haunted mansion jars. It was strange not having any little ones in the house this year as Mariah & famiy are visiting Hillary and family. But we've enjoyed Facetime and pictures and have had a festive mood all weekend long.

Grim Grinning Ghosts

October has been a sickly month for us; I haven't laid around the house watching movies this much since my "sports injury" last November - ha!ha! And, unfortunately, some of our electronics have died, been re-arranged, etc. So, I broke my Arsenic and Old Lace streak, which I am sad about. But I found a lot of good, old, classic Halloween movies on Disney Plus which managed to add some fun to the month. And, I think we will all be well enough by Saturday to enjoy some Halloween chocolates.

more October birthdays

Happy birthday month to two of our grandaughters, Emmy and Addy! Both of them learned to walk in this house in their first year of life. Now they are off on big adventures! Both girls are surrounded by siblings and cousins at the moment and loving it. We miss them and are so blessed to have them in our famiy.

(Addy on top of the world!)

(Grandma Chandler loved watching Emmy grow and having her visit in her room)

ZOOMING

It has been a long time since my Mom and her siblings have been able to see each other, since most of them are no longer traveling. But this Corona Virus has brought out so many technological ways for getting together, and my Mom and her siblings are taking advantage. Every time one of them has a birthday they get together for a ZOOM video party. We usually get her all set up and then stay out of the room so that they can have their privacy. However, for one of them we couldn't help but hear them singing together their Dad's favorite song : the Beer Barrell Polk. Towards the end of their most recent get-together I came and sat in the living room because I knew I would need to help my Mom back to her room when they were through, and I was worried about falling asleep in the other room while waiting. It was so fun for me to hear them talking about their childhoods and their current roots in Idaho. Stuff about picking berries and canning and the best place to find choke cherries for the top of their pancakes, and all the recipes their mother used to make. I just can't believe how I could be born and raised in the Bay Area but feel so connected to and love Idaho so much. Their conversation made me know why - roots run deep, even into your children's lives. Towards the end of the call my Uncle Grant, who is quite the character said "I just want to know which one of you is going to be President while Trump and Biden argue about who won the election. Ha! Ha! It was hilarious.

October's "Meet The Family" - Grandpa Chandler

 Sixty-three years after his death I believe I have finally met my Grandfather, William James Chandler.  He died 8 years before I was born.  I have been told about his life, of course, but I don't feel like I knew him or connected with him until now, as I have researched his life - mainly from my dad's autobiography.  One of the last things my dad wrote about him was 

"It is a pity that more of his grandchildren were not born  before he died.  I know he would love all of his descendants." 

 I believe he does.

William James Chandler, who went by "Willie" during his childhood, was born March 5, 1885 in Samaria Idaho.  He was a child of polygamy, born to his father's second wife.  He had one full blooded sister and several half-siblings.  When he was about 8 years old his mother died.  My dad wrote of the first wife, Harriet's reaction:

    "With love in her heart, Harriet raised Mary Ann's children as she raised her own.  I have heard my father say that he was taught to think of Harriet as his "Ma" and her children as his full blooded brothers and sisters.  I know my father loved Harriet's children with all of his soul.  He never spoke of them as his half-brothers of sisters, and he would not let his children think of their children as half-cousins."

As a young boy he worked in the fields of the family farm and got an education.  He graduated from a 2 year college called "Rick's Academy" (today's BYU Idaho).  

He served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in southern Illinois.  While doing so he wrote letters to a girl named Mary Nancy Call.  As his mission was coming to an end he knew he wanted to go home to Mada, as she was known.  He proposed by postcard - which was much more romantic than you would think: 

"One day, he glanced into a store window and saw a leather post card featuring a pair of women's shoes and a pair of men's shoes sitting before a suitcase.  The caption under the picture read, 'May my shoes and your shoes travel together.'"

 Mada loved it and loved him and said yes.  They were married soon after he returned home.  Our Aunt Mildred wrote a song about the postcard.  My favorite line reads

  "We'll climb to those Celestial paths, where joys will never lag, if you'll but put your shoes with mine in the same traveling bag."

William was a good natured, friendly, hard-working husband and father and active member in his church and community.  His hobbies included reading and discovering - always a student. Out of necessity he was also a handyman, fixing things around the house.  He and Mada had 12 children, most of who were raised during the Great Depression. 

The first 6

To provide for his family William was a school teacher by day and took on various jobs at night and during the summer.  He and Mada were very creative with their assets.  They traded the yield of their garden for meat.  William brought home useful extras and scraps from his odd jobs to be put to use by the family.  For example, one day it was a huge ream of unused butcher paper.  The family cut the paper into sheets and Mada sewed them into notebooks for school.  

Their life was full of love and joy, but not without heartache.  They moved quite a lot for job opportunities and affordable rent for their growing family.  They endured illnesses and re-posession of furniture, including their beloved piano.  But hardest of all two of their children died in childhood.  Sixteen year old daughter Lura died from an infection related to her appendicitis surgery.  Twelve months later, while the older children cared for the 5 younger children who had the measles, their pre-mature, one month old son died.  My dad wrote:

    "I will always remember how my father walked the floor hour after hour with Lewis in his arms doing all in his power to keep Lewis alive.  Whenever I try to define the word "tenderness" I am reminded of the things my parents did to try to help their baby live.  With all my heart I salute my father and my mother.  Life was hard for them.  They struggled all their lives to raise a big family.  Each of the ten children who lived to maturity became a good citizen.  My siblings and I loved each other and brought my parents much joy through our own families."

Visiting family gravesites is a Chandler family tradition.  When we have gone to visit my Dad's grave in Rigby, Idaho, the children have gone around putting flowers on every Chandler headstone they could find. This includes William, Mada, Lura, and a tiny little one for Lewis.  My little nephew Tzuri especially paused with reverence at that one.

As the depression began to lift William and Mada saw 6 of their children go to war - five fighting in WWII and one in the Korean war.  Thankfully they all came home.

William was what my dad called "a patriot".  He was involved in much community service.  He also served in various, small positions in the Democratic Party in Idaho.  

"Dad loved the United States although his party was generally the minority party, especially in Idaho.  He counseled his children to always respect individuals such as the President o the United States, the Governor of Idaho, and the Mayor of the town where the family lived.  He would not allow himself to become a cynic."

At age 47 William made acareer change and became a collector for the US Internal Revenue Service.  After his retirement, with all but 2 of their children raised, William and Mada were able to afford to purchase their first home.

I'll end this story of my Grandpa Chandler the way it started.  In my dad's words:

    "Dad loved his children and grandchildren.  His grandchildren would run to grandpa every time they visited.  He liked to hold them on his lap.  Often he delighted the grandkids by giving them candy.  He loved them".  

 I am feeling pretty lucky that he is my Grandpa and that I've gotten to know him through this "Meet The Family" project.

For further reading I understand you can find memories written by Mada/Grandma Chandler on FamilySearch.org and some of his grandchildren shared their memories on June 5th, 2019 on the "Chandler is a Good Name" facebook group.

prepared to recommend myself to the world

I seem to remember a line in one of the Jane Austen movies where someone says something about being or not being "prepared to recommend myself to the world".  For some reason I've been thinking a lot about that line.  Normally quarantine would not have occurred to me, but right now I'm thinking about how strange it is to literally pull yourself out of society for two weeks, maybe more. Or when you've been working from home for months and months. When it is time to go back I imagine it is just as strange a feeling.

But, of course, that line would be mostly about one's confidence.  In Pride and Prejudice we don't realize that Mr. Darcy's lack of social skills is not just because he is full of pride (though it is partly that) but also because he is actually shy.  He knows he's not very good at dancing or making conversation.  Lizzie makes a good point that it is no excuse - it is something he could work on.

Well, I've never felt very "prepared to recommend myself to the world" because of my low level of self confidence.  But I re-saw this picture of two of my granddaughters introducing the play that they and cousins/siblings were putting on.  They were doing this voluntarily.  They wanted to be part of it and have some of the attention, yet you can also see a little bit of hesitation in their faces.  I am in awe of their ability to make themselves do it anyway. 

I Love Lucy Day

 Why is it that knowing that people know you, and think of you, is so uplifting?  Recently my sister put the following on my facebook page.  She knows I Love Lucy, and though funny it is actually pretty accurate! 

 

And then yesterday my niece put on my page that today is national I Love Lucy day.  I have been thinking that I need more laughter around here right now and this just reminded me that Lucy would hit the spot!

So, today I will have it on in the background as I go about my work; I will have it on when I sit down to eat or crochet (Christmas projects!)  I will enjoy my happy memories of another sister being the one who introduced Lucy, Ricky, Fred and Ethel to me in the first place.  I will remember how my toddler and I watched it in the afternoon, after her nap and before we went to pick up her sisters.  I will remember how Luke uncontrollably laughed at one particular episode, and how I have tried to get my sons-in-law in on the tradition.

I do love Lucy and the things that such a silly, un-important show have brought to my life.

being prepared

 I came across the following in my scrapbooking paper.  Since the country is not as shut down as it was in March I find it easy to feel like things are only going to get better. That is a nice feeling, but the pandemic is not over,  and people are and will continue to get sick.  My take away from the inspirational talks at general conference is to be optimistic but be prepared.  

So I love this scrapbooking paper.  I am lucky enough to have a safe home to shelter in and I am going to prepare my mind and resources for whatever is going to come.

the last "teen"

 Happy birthday month to our Luke!  It's been monumental and casual all at the same time.  In fact, he finally got the laid back, easy going birthday he's always wanted.  On the other hand it is the big 19 - his last year, in fact our last year, of having "teen" as part of the age.

We love him so much and are so blessed to have him in our family.

a world full of art and creativity

 Yesterday I had the happy job of cleaning out and organizing the art cupboard - we are going along with distance learning but always keeping our thoughts on having the kids come back.  This task put me in a great mood and made me want to run to Michael's (though I resisted, for now).  It made me ponder why art and creativity are so important. 

When I first started this middle school job, every Friday morning was dedicated to art.  We had an official "Art Therapy" class where an art teacher/therapist came in.  She had the best materials and ideas. Most of the kids loved it, and even though I am not artistic, I loved it too.  After a semester that teacher retired and we never got another one.  So, our main teacher of the class filled a few cupboards with art supplies and we are carrying on.

I'm including a picture of a girl who, when the school's closed in the spring,  started putting together art kits for children.  Love it!  And below that is an inspirational message I am all of a sudden remembering. 

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early autumn-morning, Conference Sunday baking

 Pumpkin Bread and sour cream-coffee cake!- I saved the ginger snaps for another day.  I am loving it.  I am also remembering a poem and pictures I posted last year.  I think they are worth repeating!

COUNTRY CELLAR by Mary Louise Cheatham

Between the briefly opened doors,
The exiled sun, in shafts, explore
And strikes a darkly purple vein;
Against the wall, a cherry stain,
And over near the farther stairs
The gold-white globules of the pears,
And lingers there, in happy stealth,
Upon this unexpected wealth.

She proudly eyes her damson plums -
(A season's worth of juice-sharp thumbs!)
And sets her last preserve hoard in -
(A summer's worth of fruit-stained skin!)
She fondly lets her glances fall
In one last gaze upon them all,

And then, preparing to depart, She leaves with beauty in her heart.

on-going mental health care

 I am grateful for the on-going mental health training that is required for my job.  It feels good to be able to try, anyway, to make a positive difference in children's lives.  We are coming up on the anniversary of Luke losing his roommate to suicide.  I didn't know the boy but just the fact of it affected me ; me, least of all, compared to those who knew him and loved him.  I spent a long time thinking of his family.  I have kept a watchful eye on Luke as I have learned how this affects those closest to the person.  For a while I kept a private log of my feelings and my resolve to make the world a happier, less stressful place.  I know I have succeeded in some ways, and not done enough or overlooked things in other ways.  But this anniversary and my recent Suicide Prevention Training has given me more resolve to try again.

The Suicide Prevention Training was good and important but hard.  Though it was online it was also "hands on" as you did not pass the course or get your certificate without answering questions and even role playing.  We watched videos and then had to record ourselves speaking to the person who was suffering; we had to, from what we had just learned, come up with the most helpful thing to say.  One scenario was to put yourself in the place of the parent and record what you would say after your teenager has just admitted that they have been having thoughts of suicide.  I was trying not to cry as I recorded my response to "my child". 

So, internalizing all of this, I guess our "2020" started last October, with Luke losing his roommate.  Then we spent Thanksgiving through Christmas cherishing Reggie's Mom and saying goodbye.  We started moving my Mom to the house in January, which is a good thing and wonderful blessing.  We luckily got to see my siblings early in the year before the world shut down, and have not been able to see them since (except for my brother and family who came to say goodbye as they moved to Utah).  The pandemic hit and plans changed, and though our youngest three would prefer to be out in the world with all the dreams they had been working on, I am glad to have them "safely gathered in" here, as the saying goes.  Racial unrest heated up in early summer which I am very passionate about, but it has helped me to learn to speak up but not lost relationships over it.  And now I am here - back in school, with a group of beautiful souls/children I get to see and talk with online and hopefully make a difference in their lives.  I am also lucky to have great co-workers and programs like I mentioned above that are making a difference in my life.  And most of all I have a loving husband who I think, like me keeping an eye on Luke's state of mind, is keeping an eye on mine.  I am also blessed by my children, sons-in-law, and precious, sacred time with my Mom.  AND, another big part of my mental health - my grandchildren whose little faces keep me going - not to mention the homemade Christmas projects I've got going for them.

And one last comment - yesterday the mental health lesson was about living in the now.  I didn't quite get that because having stuff to look forward to, and looking back on my blessings has always been so important for me.  But, if to-do lists and hard things ahead or mistakes of the past are bogging us down, we need to live-in-the now by noticing what's going right and doing good things that will make us feel good now (like taking a walk or a nap or listening to music, or whatever).  

the beginning of the holidays

 I guess the date October 1st is so fun because, for me, it is the beginning of the Holidays. 

 Halloween seems to change a lot throughout the years according to your stage of life and circumstances around you.  I am happy to say that it can be fun either way.  We have never not had children in our house; it is fun to see their excitement and enthusiasm, even though I am no longer the one picking out the costumes, etc. It is fun to sit back and observe and soak it all in. No matter what my age, and that of those around me, things like having a pumpkin sitting on the porch and spooky decorations in the house, and creepy/scary movies to watch and a little more reason to snitch some chocolate just makes the world seem happy.  It does occur to me what strange traditions these are!  But it feels good to just do something different and a little strange!