my experience with "distance learning"

As an aide in a "special needs" class, or in other words the special education department, my job has always been about being with the kids, hands on, right there with them through thick and thin.  I am relieved to say that there is still something for me to do - a way to contribute during this distance learning school year.  I have been making something for each of them that the teacher will either mail or deliver by the end of the school year.  I am encouraged to share recipes, jokes, stories and other things I find interesting by way of a virtual classroom.  I get to participate in online games with the kids - most specifically trivia called "Kahoots".  And best of all I get to meet with them, along with the rest of the staff, online, 3 times a week. It feels good to still be a part of their lives.  I think it helps them to know that they are not forgotten and are cared about.  I am relieved and proud of them to see that they are handling all of this the best they can.

our April birthday

Before the month is over I'd like to say a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Mariah.  It was pretty low key but I think she had fun.  On the day Samantha made her her own cake-in-a-mug and we all sang.  Coincidentally Luke got her a Jane Austen mug for her future hot-chocolate treats.  The next day Ross made her a big, beautiful cake which we all helped her eat.

Avonlea's Easter Eggs

Avonlea is thrilled to have another Grandma in the house.  She keeps going back to her room, when the door is open, to say hello and goodnight.

A couple of days ago, in the living room, Avonlea showed Grandma Chandler her Easter eggs.  Apparently, since Easter, Avonlea goes for an egg hunt everyday.  She doesn't need stuff inside the eggs, she just likes to find them.  So she was showing Grandma her loot, and then poured them out on the floor.  We made a game of her picking them up by color.  She knows all her colors which was impressive to see.

It was a fun little family activity.

taking turns (written a few days ago)

I think one thing that is happening in our family, during the shelter-in-place and all the work we've been doing at home, is that we are inadvertently taking turns being the strong one - being the one in a good mood, with a positive outlook and especially patient.   There have been days in a row where I have not been the strong one, but I have appreciated the family members who have been.

 Today, however, I think I might be the, or at least A strong one (mentally speaking).  It is our last day to really clear out my Mom's apartment which means Reggie getting a truck and there still being a lot of moving and heavy lifting and physical activity.  A few months ago the plan was that my sister was going to come and sell the furniture that my Mom wasn't keeping ,on Facebook marketplace - my sister has successfully done that before.  But the virus really picked up all over the nation at that time so she couldn't come, and people are obviously not going out to pick up things from strangers' houses.  So, I'm not sure what we are doing with it today.  As I said, that is Reggie's task, along with 3 other family members to help.  I think Goodwill still has donation drop-off stations and so they might be getting some really good stuff from us today!  Also, something that is difficult but very exciting and worth it - our daughter Hillary is inheriting my Grandma Stowell's piano.  That means them moving it out today and putting it in storage until we can drive it to Utah.

My job today will be to clean the apartment. I'm going old school, with a CD player.  I'm afraid it might be so loud that the neighbors will be thrilled for those darn tenants to move.  Ha! Ha!

Anyway, I am grateful to be feeling good today and am ready to take my turn at being - if not the, at least A, happy, motivating, mentally strong one.  And I know there will be days ahead when I'm not, so I appreciate my family taking their turns!

By tonight, as we are all sitting around eating our Round Table Pizza in front of a good movie, I think we will be feeling pretty satisfied at a job well done.

Saying goodbye to the apartment

I am very much going to miss my Mom's apartment.  My children have sweet memories of sleep-overs and such with their grandparent's.  I guess everyone has their own memories.  Though they had the apartment long before,  I feel like my memories start at about 2012, when my Dad was dying.  There were several nights that I stayed over, in less than a month's time, where he went from talking and having family dinners and such to not being able to do much but sit on the couch and watch tv (we watched the Waltons together), to not being interested in the tv but just wanting to sit and listen to the music channel, to being in a hospice bed in the living room hardly able to speak, to being in a coma in the bed in the living room, to passing away with my Mom & I by his side, in the living room.   For months afterward I fought back the tears as I walked into the apartment where the bed was gone but my Mom was still playing that music channel.

Since then my memories have been about me spending time with my Mom at her apartment.  Until recently, as we know, she wanted to continue living there, alone.  So I would check in on her - at first about once a week, then a few days a week, and recently several days and nights each week.  I've gotten to know her even more this way.  I have had a few months to pack up her belongings and tried to not throw anything away without asking her permission.  It turned out so many times that things had an importance or significance I never would have guessed, and so we kept it.  Although the other day, she smiled at me and told my daughter Julia that I was making her throw things away - I have been encouraging her to get rid of stuff without sentimental value that she hasn't used in years.  When I remind her that giving it to charity means it will still get some use and bless other's lives, she's been happy about it.  But as we were doing all of this for the past several months we would have the news on in the background, mixed in with some "All In The Family", and end the nights with a movie - usually Shirley Temple, and then The Golden Girls tv show.

With all this sheltering-in-place for the past several weeks her apartment has become a bit of a retreat, even though I've been being productive.  And the family probably got used to and even enjoyed getting a break from me. And now I have about a week of going over there every day to clean.  Usually Samantha or Luke take turns coming with me.  But again, it is a place of retreat and memories and wide open windows of a beautiful view of Park Merced (I think I will blog later about where this apartment is located).  I am going to miss it.

Samantha's tender care

Samantha has always loved my Mom so much, and been interested in spending time with her.  Whenever Samantha was home from college she would go spend the night at my Mom's place with her at least once a week.  Now that my Mom is back home Samantha is eager to do whatever she can to help her.  This is very comforting for me, especially when I need to leave the house for hours at at time.  I know she is happily there to help my Mom and keep her company.  We love Samantha so much and appreciate all she does to make this a happy family.

Grandma's first day

My Mom's first day back home was exhausting, for everyone, including her - though it went remarkably well.  It started out in her apartment with Reggie, my brother, and other men-folk from the family moving things out.  They most of all wanted to get her bedroom furniture out and set up at home so she could rest as soon as possible.  But with the adrenaline, etc. she never took for than a half hour nap.

One thing about my Mom is that she is still feeling good and not ready to just sleep for the rest of her life.  So, to say that she only had a few things to move would be a huge understatement.  She has boxes full of paperwork that she wants to keep, organize, and use to write her own history and more of her families' history.

So anyway, by the evening we were all home and I took a snapshot of one of my favorite moments: Mariah and Luke visiting with her as we were unpacking her room.  She was enjoying telling them stories about her father.

The next day she did sleep and sleep and sleep, and had a sore back from going up the stairs to get into the house.  But with some Ben-Gay ointment, some good food and medicine, and loving care, she was feeling better by the evening.

She brought boxes full of pictures to put on her walls, but that will happen another day. 

Before that, the priority is to get cable in the house again.  We haven't had it for years,

but my Mom loves her live news shows!

And it's finally time to say:

WELCOME HOME to my Mom/Grandma Chandler/Great-Grandma Chandler!

Every so often, since my Dad passed away in 2012, Reggie and I have asked my Mom if she is ready to come home - if she was getting lonely, or having a hard time living on her own, etc.  Her answer was always no.  But last November she called to say that she was ready.  She was starting to have a hard time doing little things on her own, and she was getting tired of being alone so much.  She said she figured she ought to make the move before it became an emergency.

So, we collectively decided to start the process mid-January, after the holiday visiting was over.

Mid-January through mid-April gave us time to go through her things carefully and figure out what she wanted to take and what she was ready to let go of.  Truthfully, she was ready to let go of a lot of the furniture, but she had a lot of other important stuff to bring with her.  I have realized that office supplies and paper-work - as in family history - is my Mom's passion.  She has saved letters to and from her parents, siblings, children, etc. for most of her life.  We also kept finding papers that my Dad had written - in his handwriting - that was just too hard to get rid of.  She is also a child of the depression, and has held on to that mentality that if something has a use, you use it and don't throw it away.  That has actually become more profound to us as we are facing this current situation, where it is hard to go shopping and hard to find the things you need, and a steady income is becoming a problem for so many in the country.

And so again, WELCOME HOME.  We are so grateful to my Mom for sharing this house with us for so many years.  We are honored to be here to take care of her, and feel happy in the fact that she is not just moving in with her children, but that she is moving back to her house.  So of course there is room for her to bring all she wanted.  And it felt satisfying to get her master-bedroom and bathroom all fixed up for her again.  The next project is to get a room fixed up to be her office, complete with file cabinets for all those precious papers from her life.

We are very lucky, and all is well.

smiling through

Sometimes life gets so ridiculous all you can do is smile your way through.  For example around here right now:

- With the beauty salons and barbershops closed our men are getting very long hair and mine is becoming very grey

- With everyone eating every meal at home, and with so many bakers in the house, our poor dishwasher can't keep up - there are always dishes in the sink!

- We no longer plan our meals before grocery shopping; we go shopping and plan our meals according to what we find.  This Easter we had a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner!  We couldn't find any ham, but for some reason there were lots of turkeys.  (and I'm not about to go from store to store looking for ham).  But, since people are trying really hard to count their blessings right now, a November type of meal seems appropriate.  (Luke cooked it and it turned out great!  He got lots of tips from Julia over the phone).

- wearing a homemade mask is out of my comfort zone, but I am getting used to it. I was thinking, though, that no one can tell if you are frowning at them or smiling at them.  But then I remembered that there is such a thing as "smiling eyes".

- Green is the new green.  With all the nice rain we've been getting, and the fact that the gardeners need to shelter in place, our grass, weeds, etc. are growing and growing.

- I appreciate people on facebook trying to keep things upbeat and lighthearted.  I have enjoyed videos people have made re-creating Disneyland rides at home, doing dance challenges with family members, and posting little jokes here and there.  I especially like the one that says something about God finally getting fed-up with his children fighting all the time, so he has sent us all to our rooms (makes me feel like we've all been grounded).

- alarm clocks are not as essential as they used to be; Reggie has still had some days of work so he's had to use his, and I've had a couple of morning meetings, but there are more days than usual when we can rely on the rising sun and our own internal clocks to wake us up

So we are trying to smile our way through it all.

That being said, I can't imagine how hard it must be to have the virus or care for those who do.  We send our love and prayers and admiration to all who are getting through this.

Meet the Family - Uncle Kenneth Ele

When Reggie was on his mission I liked to visit his family.  His Mom was especially welcoming to me.  One day, when I went to the house, I started to get to know Reggie's Uncle Ken as he had just moved in with the family.  Unfortunately I found him to be scary and mean!  What I didn't know was that he was just going through a divorce.  Well, it didn't take long for that stress to fade and for his true nature to come out again.  It wasn't long until I found Uncle Ken to be fun and happy and jolly and I enjoyed visiting the house even more now that he was there.  I remember Uncle Ken being around when Reggie got home and a part of our lives from then on.  He eventually got his own place and after a few years he started needing help.  The one thing I felt I could do was cook for him and so I brought dinners to him once or twice a week for a little while.  He thanked me SO much and I remember that his absolute favorite was the "Chicken Divine" casserole.  That year I had sent out a family letter with our Christmas card (our girls were still little) and he was so complimentary of it and expressed how much he loved us and how proud he was of our little family.

Some facts about Uncle Ken:

 - born in San Francisco on November 23, 1937
 - had 5 children, 7 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren
- served in the United States Army
- introduced Reggie's parents to each other
- very much enjoyed playing poker
- was always large in stature and jokingly considered himself a big old monkey, and therefore
   LOVED the King Kong movies and gorillas in the wild
- loved the King Kong movies so much that he had much memorabilia around his place
- requested that in lieu of flowers for his funeral people donate money to wildlife
  protection services, again because of his love of gorillas
- passed away August 8th, 2005 at age 67

Our house is very disheveled right now, but when I find the scrapbook that has Uncle Ken pictures in it I will post them.  For now I will just put a few things that remind us of him: