#50 of the things and people I love

Well, this is it.  I may not blog for a very long time after this!  Or maybe it will be a habit that is hard to break.  We'll see.

But I want to finish off by saying that I love life.  I know that sounds corny.  But I think the best thing I could ever do is recognize and acknowledge my parent's sacrifices and efforts to give me life, and live in a way that is worthy of them.  I certainly do have some regrets from the past 50 years that I only hope to remember long enough to learn from.

When I was about 6 years old our family went to the theatre to see "Scrooge" which is a musical of the classic Dicken's "A Christmas Carol".  I remember falling asleep during parts of it, but being awake for the best musical numbers.  I especially liked when Scrooge was visited by the Ghost of Christmas Present, and they sang a song called "I Like Life". When I get down or in a general bad mood, this song comes to mind, and I remember.

So thanks, Mom and Dad, and Reggie, and my children, and all who have touched my 50 years of life.  I am very blessed.

#49 - Mariah and Ross

Mariah said that I need to do them last, because their last name is Last - very clever!  But I think I need to save #50 for a wrap up.  So, almost last, I am posting about Mariah and Ross Last.

I'd like to use most of their blog post on pictures, because I got some really good ones on my last visit to Utah.  Before going to help Hillary we had a great afternoon together at the pioneer village, and we finished off our trip together at Temple Square.

 I also got some quality time with them during the week as they helped out with Hillary's family whenever possible, and I slept at their place every night.  They are very hospitable and very fun to be around.  This is such a great and unique time of life for them - the have a sweet "honeymoon" apartment which they have decorated so nicely.  They are juggling school and work and building their relationship as a couple, before the children start to come.  They make me very happy!

Something interesting about them is that the are both the 3rd child of 5 children in their families.  At first glance they have both taken on the "caucasian" look of their family backgrounds, but then you notice that there are other ancestries going on in their genetic make up.  Mariah of course has Hawaiian blood (and phillipino and portugese, etc.) and Ross' maternal genes come from Brazil.  So it will be very interesting to see, some day, what their children will look like.

And speaking of childhood, let me end this post with a picture of Mariah's - I love the little girl she was, and the woman she has become.

#48 - Samantha

It's almost 4 am, so I am a few hours late with this post - darn!  Lately, every few weeks it seems, I crash and burn on the couch, thinking I am just going to take a quick break, and I wake up several hours later.  I had been thinking all day about how to put into words my love for Samantha and now I just need to do it.

In looking back, when the other girls graduated high school, without realizing it I think I had the "throw them in the swimming pool and they will learn how to swim" approach to their going away to college.  They did fine, and did "learn how to swim".  But with Samantha I am not willing to do that.  She so desperately wants to go, but I am determined for her to go prepared.  Another analogy might be that I keep opening the oven, checking to see if it's time to take the dish out, and deciding that it is almost but not quite ready.  So she is still here, which I feel good about.  Someday she will go, but not quite yet.  I think that in mothering her I try extra hard to pay attention to "mother's intuition" or in a more spiritual sense, to the spirit - in a partnership with Reggie, of course.  I hope and pray we can continue to do that - she is on loan to us, so to speak, from our Heavenly parents - as are all of our children, and I want to do right by her.

Samantha is happy; she has such enthusiasm for life.  Samantha is brave - we all take strength in watching how she faces challenges.  Samantha is verbal; her ability to keep the conversation going is priceless and I love it!  Samantha is thoughtful, always asking how my day is going.  Samantha is a good friend.  Samantha is a spiritual giant and is always picked first for teams for things like scripture trivia, etc.   Samantha has a good memory, which helps her in schooling, etc., but also helps her in life: she has the gift of remembering and dwelling on the best moments and memories.

Saying that I - or we - love Samantha is an understatement.  But again, love is such a small word for such big feelings and it will have to do.

#47 - friends and outlaws - (I am determined to add pictures later, when I'm not so tired)

Part 1 - Yesterday Andrew (Porter) came over - he and Luke had some work to do on a Young Men's project. While he was here I was cleaning out the fridge and asking the kids when they had this and that for dinner, as I was not here the past week, and wanted to throw out anything that had expired.  Andrew knew as much as anyone else and told me "we had _____ on Sunday, and so ______ on Monday" etc.  It made me smile.  I know that Luke spent a lot of time at his house as well, and could probably tell Jade as much about the goings on of his house as Andrew knows about our house.  Andrew has been a part of our lives since he and Luke were babies and Tom and Jade have been our good friends much longer than that.  I hope these, and other friendships last a lifetime.

 We are in a unique situation where friends are constantly coming and going, because of church.  A lot of people move to the area for school, jobs, etc., but end up moving somewhere else after a few years.  So many have left a positive imprint on our lives.  And when I look back on the changes in our family the last few years, I am in awe of how kind and supportive so many friends have been in attending weddings, helping with weddings, etc.  We are very lucky.  Tonight was one of those nights at church that I just love, where I know that friendships are being formed.  The building was filled with people of different ages, doing different activities.  It was loud and friendly and fun.

Part 2 - This blog is 7 years old now.  Obviously most of the posts have been about our family.  When looking back I see quite a few posts about my niece in-law Rocio and her kids and the time we spent together.   In 2013 I blogged about our experiences in attending her wedding, and how happy I was that she found such a good man who loved her and the kids.  I did feel a touch of sadness though, knowing that she had new in-laws, and I wasn't sure how they would feel about us attending.  We joked that she could introduce us as her "outlaws", which name makes me smile now.  I am happy to say that we have been able to keep in touch.  Rocio will always be our family and I love her as I do all of my nieces and nephews.

# 46 - the mountains

Not just any mountains, but THE mountains in Utah.  These are the mountains that my ancestors crossed in order to make a better life for themselves.  I kept looking at them last week, getting a sense of strength.

   It snowed all day last Monday, and the mountains looked like this (below) for several days afterwards.  After a week in the 19 to 40something degree weather, I realized that I could become acclamated after all.

It's not the same view as our ocean of course, but it is beautiful nonetheless.  So,  just in time for #46, I have realized that I love the mountains.  (Which has left a preschool song in my mind all week long.  One little girl kept singing a tune to herself over and over again, so I looked it up, made a poster of it, and it is now one of our regulars songs.  It is called "I Love The Mountains".)

#45 - Luke

Luke was just meant to be.  He brought little boy fun into the house, from climbing and getting into things more than his sisters ever did, to walking at 7 1/2 months, to running around all over the place, to being a fun uncle to climb on.  He keeps us laughing all the time.  I am happy to say that even though he has become a teenager he is still a very pleasant kid who is a joy to have around.  Life just wouldn't be the same without him.

#44 - airports

I love airports.  Now if I had to be in them for business trips, etc. I might not love them.  But so far in my life I have been in airports for happy reasons - because I am heading off to some place exciting or to see loved ones. And I also love the waiting around in airports. It gives me time to slow down, to read, write, reflect and imagine.  It is interesting to look around at the gates and see all the places people can go.

It is our last day with Hillary and family.  We are heading to the airport tomorrow knowing that her health and their routine is getting better and will soon be back to normal.  Reggie gave Audrey a toy one time, to help her remember that there is always another trip around the corner - a Little People airplane with the following song:

#43 - David & family

There we are - my family, before I was born.  I'm so happy my parents were willing to have one more!  My oldest brother, David, who is seated in the middle, was 16 when I was born.  My earliest memories of him is that he was leaving the house when I was three (to go on a mission in Argentina).  I didn't quite understand where he was going or that he would be gone for 2 years, but I remember missing him and being so excited when he came home.  Soon after there was a big party - a wedding that is, as he married his high school sweetheart, Donna. So as you can tell, we didn't actually live in the same house for much of my life.  But he and Donna's house in Idaho and Utah was my favorite place to visit and stay during
the summer.

Because of David and Donna I became an aunt at age 8.  I have loved hanging out with their kids, when we were little and as adults raising our kids.  It's interesting when generations collide.  I am so happy that we still get to see each other over the years.

I love my oldest brother, David, his wife Donna, and the family they have made.

#42 - Christmas wrapping paper

Sometimes Christmas presents are something tangible, that you can wrap and put under the tree.  Sometimes they're not, which causes a dillema for me - I love wrapped Christmas presents - I love to pick out the wrapping paper from the store, I love wrapping the presents and I love seeing them under the tree.  So when we give a coupon type of gift, I still try to figure out a way to get several presents out of it under the tree.  Like one year we gave Julia & Lester annual passes for the zoo.  So I wrapped zoo cupcake liners and zoo lunch sacks for under the tree.  I love everything Christmas, including the wrapping paper.

#41 My dad

I'm sure he had no idea what an influence he would continue to be after he passed from this life. When we are going through something hard we remember the things he endured and carry on.  When we remember how happy he stayed through it all, we carry on.  For example, I remember having a talk with him about how depressing it can be to be sick, especially for a long period of time.  He told me about enduring a bout of strep throat when he was a soldier in World War II, in the barracks, before penicillin was available.  Amazing. I've posted the below video before,of his 90something year old self,  but the fact that it freezes on his smile makes me want to put it here again.

Right now Hillary is going through a long episode of being sick - specifically having gallbladder surgery.  In fact, it's been a rough year for her health wise.  I've noticed the things she is clinging to as she endures - music, uplifting talks and books, including my Dad's.  She takes a lot of strength from his book.

# 40 - other children in my life

I remember in a movie someone commenting that in America it is weird because we have one word to describe how we feel about so many different things.  We use the word love when talking about our family, but also when talking about Reeses Peanut Butter cups (doesn't everybody!!!)  And so in my list of 50 people and things that I love, I realize that the word "love" is used on a large spectrum, from one end to the other.

In talking about the people I love, obviously my family is on one end of the scale.  But love is also an appropriate word to use when describing our feelings about other people - like "love thy neighbor" and having a "love of mankind", etc.  So I hope it makes sense when I say that I love the other children in my life - the ones I get to spend time with at school and at church.  They make me happy and they are in my thoughts and prayers, even when I am "off the clock".  Sometimes caring about them is challenging, but definitely rewarding. I am very honored to be able to spend part of my life with them.  

#39 the refiner's fire

Though I am not at the point in my life where I can say that I love my trials, or am even grateful for them, I can say that I am grateful for the opportunity they give me to become better.  I am also grateful for the empathy they give me.  If there is ever a time that my child is going through a hard situation, and I can relate because I went through something similar, and can re-assure them that everything will be fine - yeah, I can honestly say that I am happy to have gone through the trial first so that I can help them.

I've been watching a documentary on the Roosevelts, and it talked about the person that FDR was before his polio hit, and the person he became because of it.  They said that there was no way he could have led our country through such terrible times if he had not already gone through the refiner's fire himself.

So, I guess I love the results of the refiner's fire.

#38 of 50 people and things that I love, in random order: Tom and family

Though 4 years apart, my brother Tom and I were always great friends.  We rode our bikes together, played baseball at the school yard, explored the cliffs and took care of our dog Sinbad together.  In high school he was a senior when I was a freshman, and we had one year of college together.  He was a little protective of me, especially when a Reggie Hanaike came into my life, but once they got to know each other everything was fine.  Then a Madeline Munger came into his life and we all knew she would make our good times even better.  I am so grateful to have her as my sister-in-law.

Their kids are some of my favorite people in the world.  I have loved getting together for birthdays, holidays, Wii sleepovers, and for just the fun of it.  Now more than half of them are grown and out of the house.  I am t
Happy that we still keep in touch.

I love Tom & Madeline and the family they have made together.   And I know I have a thousand pictures documenting all of this, but until I have time to scan one of them, this picture of two cousins will have to do.

#37 - recess

Though recess can be a loud part of my day, it is also a happy part of my day - especially on Fridays. It is nice to see the kids playing.  It is sweet to hear a kid say "do you want to play chase with me?" and the other one say "okay" and watch them run off, one after the other.

 I also really like hearing the kindergarten/first grade p.e. going on.  Because of budget cuts I don't think there is a formal p.e. teacher, but volunteers will come and run it - especially this one grandpa who must have been in the military, and who also keeps up with the times.  He has the kids marching, do roll-call types of chants.  And then they stop and do specific types of exercises to songs on a boom box - it is funny to hear the Grandpa say "now watch me whip, now watch me nay nay".

But I especially love it on Fridays because there is a stereo system with great volume capabilities set up outside playing '80s music.  Why '80s music?  I'm not sure - maybe because the principle knows that most of us adults stationed out there will enjoy it - but you still have kids near it dancing away.  Today it was the following song, and I couldn't stop my feet from moving a little bit:

#36 - (are you getting tired of me yet?)

I think it's rather obvious that I love Disney movies and that I've raised my kids on them.  I think we can compete in Disney trivia with the best of them.  I'm sure I wouldn't love Disney things half as much if it wasn't for the music - I'm so glad that most Disney movies are musicals.

#35 - my notebook

(I could have sworn I blogged about this recently, but I can't find it, so here we go.  I'll try to make it short and sweet.)

One notebook; I have realized recently that if I have one notebook where I write down everything, I stay organized - from shopping lists to taking notes on what a doctor is telling me, to-do lists - everything in the one notebook.  As long as I don't lose the notebook then I am good!  I love my notebook.

50 people - #34, our granddaughters

So far, at this time in my life, I am the grandmother of 4 beautiful girls - sounds a little dejavue!  It is just as fun as being the mother of 4 little girls.  One thing I love about my granddaughters is what fun the have as sisters.  I was surprised and happy to see how Audrey instantly took to her little sister.  When Hannah was a newborn Audrey would often ask her "you otay Han-nah?"  She seemed quite protective and ready to console her if she was upset.  And I love watching Addy and Isla just starting on their eternal experience of sharing, now that Isla is old enough to want the same toys as Addy.  They are such a blessing to each other.  And they are such a blessing to us all.  I absolutely need to get a picture of the 4 of them together this holiday season!

#33 - It never gets old

and never ceases to amaze me.  I love the ocean.

#32 - getting my hands messy

When I was growing up my parents had some good friends from England.  They noticed that I was a bit of a tom-boy and were always telling me that I should be more lady-like.  I was relieved that, though my parents insisted I respond politely or not at all, that they did not insist or even care if I was more lady-like. They were perfectly happy with their tom-boyish little girl who liked to ride  bikes, play ball and chase lizards.  (I remember them laughing though because when I actually caught a lizard I became scared to death!)

 I guess I grew out of some of that and enjoyed dressing up for the dances, shopping with my mom, etc.  But one thing I have not out grown is enjoying getting my hands messy.  I love digging in the sand at the beach; I love pulling the guts (for lack of a better word) out of the pumpkins; I enjoy play dough and bread dough and don't mind if the kids at school accidentally get paint on me during art time.  But, perhaps the funniest thing about me is I hate the thought of a manicure or pedicure.  I like to get my nails clean and trim, especially after some good, messy activities, but the thought of someone else cleaning them just bothers me.  Strange, huh.

#31 - My happy place

#30 - Home

You know I love this house.  I can't make a list of 50 things and people that I love, in honor of my 50th birthday, without mentioning again that I have spent all 50 years living in this house.

But more important than the physical house is the home that is here.  There has been a lot of love, and a lot of fighting that has happened in this house over the years.  Fighting is a normal part of family life and we learn from it.  But one of the most important things that I hope my descendants will remember is that Home is supposed to be the place where you feel the most safe, the most secure, - the one place where you know you won't be bullied and that you will be loved, no matter what.

#29 - Hillary and Andrew

It seems like it wasn't that long ago that little Hillary was a constant part of my life and this house.  From the especially tiny baby she was when we first brought her home, to the cute little girl with the tiny voice and big attitude, to the slightly goth pre-teen, to the wonderfully happy teenager.  Then she took off, making me miss her but making my dreams for her come true, all at the same time, by going away to the wonderful experience that awaited her at LDS business college.  She enjoyed independence, a good education and great social experiences.  She also met and fell in love with a wonderful man named Andrew Dobbins.  Now, after 4 years of marriage they are approaching the end of their BYU experience and will be moving on to a new stage of life.  I have had the opportunity of visiting them several times in their different apartments, as newlyweds, as parents of one baby and now parents of two.  I am so proud of how they have lived their lives - they have found and embraced happiness in their joys and in their struggles.  They have clung to each other and welcomed 2 little ones into all of the chaos and energy of married-student college life.  I think the 4 of them, together, can conquer the world! - I love them so much and am so grateful that they exist, individually, and as our cute little Dobbins branch of our family.

#28 - Prime

Something I have only recently discovered, but decided I love, is Amazon Prime.  Not only do I get free shipping on most Amazon products, with no min. purchase, but there is so much free music and video available too. (I guess I shouldn't say free, but the annual fee seems very worth it!)  I've discovered at least a dozen albums that I like, and I've enjoyed several of the  movies so far.  When Samantha has her weekly Institute (religion) class I wait for her at the church building working on projects with Amazon music or video keeping me company.  I love it!

Oh #27, I almost forgot about you!

Exercise everyday - who cares!  Get to work on time, fulfill my responsibilities, go to bed at a decent time - none of those goals matter compared to the one I forgot about for a whole day!  I've been promising myself that when November finally came I would head straight to Cold Stone to get their dark chocolate peppermint ice cream - I knew they were going to start selling it on November 1st.  I didn't remember, however, until yesterday.  So I had it on my lunch break and mm mm mm it did not disappoint.  Now my next goal is to not have it again until the end of November.  So in other words, I love chocolate & peppermint!  (And I just discovered that these make some excellent brownies and chocolate chocolate chip/peppermint cookies!)

#26 - child development

Samantha is now taking an online class from BYU Idaho about marriage and family relationships.  When she was looking for a major I suggested she start down the child development route because I think she has a knack for taking care of kids and could make a career out of it.  I also think it is some of the most useful information she or anyone could have in their lives.  When I picked this major for myself, years ago, I remember there being a lack of respect for it that I assume still exists today - especially at a church school; when people hear that you are taking a class that has anything to do with marriage, children, families, etc. they think you are just biding your time while you are waiting to get married.  But in my opinion these are subjects that everyone should study because we all face them everyday of our lives.  To learn the psychology of how and why we treat our family members the way we do, and what the real affects are, can help us all become much happier, well adjusted adults. In fact, it's probably information that we should be studying over and over again.  I have been looking over her textbook and find it all fascinating, and am hopefully learning and learning again.

#25 - the love of my life

Today in Sunday School the assigned scripture to read was in Ephesians in the New Testament.  Part of the scripture says that wives should be submissive to their husbands.  The teacher asked what we (the men and women in the room) thought about that.  There were a few seconds of silence, which felt like an eternity, and then I said probably too loudly "them's fightin words!".  Those who could hear me, including Reggie, laughed.  We then, to my relief, talked about what the scripture meant, explored the word "submit" in that context, and how the church and the Lord teaches and expects that husbands and wives are equal partners in a marriage.  How the scriptures are teaching us to be less self-centered and to trust and support and take care of each other more.  The verses I found especially beautiful were #21 "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God" and #31
"and they two shall be one flesh".

The whole thing, and other recent and not so recent experiences, have confirmed to me over and over again how much I love that Reggie Hanaike.  Little things, like the way he looks in the bright blue Yosemite shirt I picked out for him; like the way he plays with our grandchildren; his sense of humor (most of the time), his words of love and encouragement for me, the flowers he brings home after a long business trip - I could go on and on and on.  I am happy to say that I love him even more than I did when we were young and skinny and just starting out on this adventure called marriage.  I don't know what lays ahead of us - some of the difficult experiences of life are behind us, and some are just around the corner, I'm sure.  But as long as we can face them together, I have faith that it will all be fine - better than fine, it will all be great!

50 things and people that I love - #24

Prayer - There are days that I feel like I am praying all the time (silently that is) - during things that I knew were coming up and I need help with, and during unexpected things that I have to make a quick decision about.  I do really feel like my Father in Heaven exists and is watching over me, whether my circumstances turn out the way I'd like or not.  I guess a lot of times the purpose of prayer is not a specific result, but is the help given as we go through life.  I've also realized that one of the hardest but most important times to pray, at least for me, is when I'm angry.  During times of anger, and I would assume this is typical human nature, I don't necessarily want to calm down or let go.  But I know that if I don't I am going to say things that I will end up regretting.  Praying while I'm angry really helps to keep a bad situation from becoming worse.  I am so thankful for my Father In Heaven and for the power of prayer.

p.s. It's November, and only 26 more to go!  Yay November!