"Medgar was a happy man with a rich smile and a warmth that touched many people. He was never too busy to listen or too tired to help. But beneath that gentle sympathy lay strength that could not be intimidated. Lord knows, enough people tried. But it never worked and that, I supposed, is why they killed him."
I've been reading a book called "The Autobiography of Medgar Evers". The title caught my interest because I knew that Medgar Evers died as a young husband and father and civil rights worker. I didn't think he ever had time to write his autobiography, especially when his life was ended so abruptly and violently (he was murdered by a white supremist who evaded justice and jail until 1994. These events are portrayed in an excellent movie called 'Ghosts of Mississippi'). I learned that the reason it is called an autobiography is because most of the words in the book are Medgar Ever's: his writings, his speeches, his letters.
I learned about the Civil Rights Movement, segregation, Jim Crow, etc. in school. Before that I had no idea I was born into such a tumultuous time (1965). In my neighborhood in California there was, of course, no such thing as segregation, etc. There were race relation problems and injustices, I'm sure, but I was oblivious to them. My schools were very diverse and black and white kids hanging out together was our way of life. So learning about all of this was and still is quite shocking to me.
But now, in reading about these things from a first hand account, it all seems even more: more serious, more emotional, more important than I had ever known. In one of his speeches Medgar Evers talks about why the desegregation of schools was so important - how "separate but equal" was and never would be a true concept. He described the conditions of the black children's schools, telling of one in particular whose roof was in such bad condition that it caved into the classrooms - luckily when no one was there. The "white's only" school in the same town was in a beautiful and of course safe condition.
Mostly, however, I was touched by his wife's writings after Medgar was killed. Myrlie Evers wrote of how they lived knowing that as long as he worked for the cause his life would be in danger.
"Medgar told me one time 'sure, you're scared at first, but then you get mad. You think 'when it comes, I'm ready'. You know that if you stay scared , you can't do anything".
They taught their children how to drop to the ground and take cover if they heard gunshots or other scary sounds and to stay away from the windows. They often barricaded their doors at night, just in case.
Myrlie and Medgar argued about whether they should stay in Mississippi and continue to live this life or move to the north, or at least someplace a little safer. But Medgar felt that they should stay. He was prepared to live and die, if necessary, to continue this cause.
And I can see that this wasn't selfish on his part, regarding his wife and children. If he was killed they would have to live without him. But the longer he spent working for a better world for them to live in, the better off their entire lives would be. She wrote of their last days together and how their worry resulted in treasuring each other even more. She wrote of the night he was shot. It was very real and very moving.
The last thing Myrlie said in this writing:
"So I grieve, but I do not regret. We had a wonderful 11 years together. Some people are left with nothing; I have magnificent memories. Medgar didn't belong just to me - he belonged to so many, many people everywhere. He was so willing to give his life that I feel his death has served a certain purpose. When I find myself in pits of depression I remind myself that fulfilling this purpose is what he really wanted."
